The Emergence of Uzumaki Naruto
by Gavedin
Summary: 3rd in the 'ninja Naruto gets sent to school' series. Boundaries blur between dimensions when a simple wish is made. What can a shinobi do when he's dragged into a strange new world with aliens, espers, and time travelers? Panic, probably.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: You've seen that this story involves Naruto and Haruhi Suzumiya. Sorry, but I **do not** own them. A pity.

Chapter 1:

'_Where…am I?_'

Why did nothing look familiar? Bright blue eyes gazed out at red painted walls, an undersized room…but from what he could ascertain, this place was some sort of medical facility. At least, the intravenous drip stuck in his left forearm gave him that idea. He was dressed in what looked like a pair of lime-green pajamas…where the hell was his regular clothes?

The last thing he remembered in his hazy brain was soft hands against his back as his wounds were healed by Ino. He had just used his new rasenshuriken technique to pretty much obliterate the Akatsuki member named Kakuzu, which in turn ripped his right arm to bloody shreds in the process. But it was fully healed, without bandages or support. There wasn't even any pain. Did Kyuubi heal him? That was the most likely scenario unless the medics got a hold of him. As he continued waving the arm around, Uzumaki Naruto ran his other free hand through his spiky blond hair as his whiskered cheeks frowned at the situation.

'_Seriously…where the hell am I?_'

Deciding to get off his ass and find out, the sixteen-year old shinobi and jinchuriki of the most powerful biju in existence ripped out his IV and hopped to his feet. At least he still had his footing. Sometimes when he woke up in the hospital it took awhile for him to be able to walk straight but luckily he currently did not have that problem. Or was it because he was fully healed with no viable explanation? Just how long had he been unconscious, really?

His eyes swept around the room, finding none of his usual possessions. Odd…normally they'd at least have his jumpsuit laid out for him. But there was nothing. A faint jingle of metal clacking against wood met his ears and he automatically jumped, gluing himself to the ceiling by the pads of his feet. What he guessed was his doctor walked in staring at a chart while oblivious to the teenager hanging upside down by an application of his chakra. The man idly looked up at the bed before doing a double-take, realizing the patient was gone and nowhere in sight.

A quick once over indeed showed that Naruto was no longer there and he rushed out, probably to find security or someone else to see if the previously comatose blond had been seen. But before the door clicked shut he dropped silently and slid through, now in the henged disguise of the physician. Pushing the fake pair of glasses farther up his nose the ninja began searching for an exit to gain his bearings. Others nodded to him or greeted the 'doctor', one Physician Kojima, but luckily nobody thought to stop him and engage in conversation. Hiding behind a corner he quickly changed into a nondescript looking male with brown hair and eyes wearing only the suit the medical examiner had been wearing underneath his white lab coat. Without any sort of disturbance, he slipped right out without anyone being any the wiser.

Mission completed: escape from the hospital without alerting anyone.

Now to figure out where he currently was because no way in hell this was Konoha. Buildings stretched into the sky, looking to be made completely out of metal and glass. What looked like oddly-shaped steel wagons without any horses moved by themselves, and people would get in and out of them at random intervals. Internally, he was screaming as loud as he could to the heavens despite the calm he was exuding physically. Everyone he passed looked nothing the ninja and civilians he was used to encountering either but then again they could have merely been hiding their visage because an illusion as well.

Feeling harshly overwhelmed by the whole experience, Naruto's shell finally cracked and a disbelieving, wordless sound erupted from his mouth as his dazed mind barely comprehended where his legs were taking him, until the joyous shouts of children reached his ears and caused him to shake away the obliviousness. The hidden blond was now in a park where people of all ages were coming and going as they went on with their day. The disguised teenager moved over to an unoccupied bench and dropped into it with an explosive sigh unbecoming of the person he was dressed as. No one spared him a glance fortunately, due to them being too engaged in their own devices.

Naruto took the lull to try and wrap his head around the situation but no solution would magically appear to aid him. This looked nothing like the Elemental Nations, as though he was in some place completely new. So was he transported somewhere without his knowledge, physically or…by some grander option? None of that crazy time/space ninjutsu was used as far as he knew and the battles were over. He sure as hell would have remembered being dragged into Kakashi-sensei's swirly-eye portal move if he had used it. So…what?

Shouldering yet another sigh he took to looking skyward at the never-ending heavens. Once he found an area free of people the jinchuriki was going to attempt a summoning. All was peaceful at the moment, a rather foreign feeling to the boy, but a small inkling that slowly peaked in his awareness caused the henged male to stretch and nonchalantly scan his immediate surroundings for any sort of unwelcoming sign.

Only one person stood out; a young girl around his age who, oddly enough, was staring straight at him. Not at the low-ranked genjutsu wrapped around his body but him. Somehow he could just tell as her eyes stayed glued to his sitting body. She was dressed in a school uniform with a long-sleeved white top with light blue trim, light blue undershirt, red ribbon, long white socks, brown shoes, and a light blue skirt with pleats. She was a rather pretty female with dark blue eyes and long blue hair down to her butt with a small amount held back by a red clip. Damn, was blue her favorite color or something? Not that it was exactly a bad thing but still…

As their eyes met, she began walking towards him with a small smile. Maybe he looked familiar to her or she thought she knew his fake identity. Who knows? He'd find out soon enough with every light step she took. Besides, bull-shitting people was one of his top-notch skills and it would likely be easy to send her on her way. "I'm sorry, did you want to sit here?" he finally asked when she was standing right in front of him, getting her to shake his head negatively. The action caused her long mane to ripple back and forth in waves down her form while she smiled prettily at him.

"No, but thank you for offering." she quipped before sitting at his side anyways and smoothing out her skirt. "The reason I'm here is because of _you_. You're a rather intriguing person, you know that? A massive point of power was detected two days ago matching your personal signature and the same energy that is currently coating your entire being."

"I-I'm sorry?"

"Oh, don't play coy. Your influx of inherent data has altered the base of our surroundings and we've pinpointed the cause. We know how you appeared here and if you come with me everything can be explained. It was a rather interesting phenomenon, to say the least." She finished speaking and began studying the nails on her hand idly, even as Naruto remained completely silent while contemplating his options and attempting to decode her use of big words. She might've been disarmingly cute but there was something…off about this girl. Now she was proposing he went somewhere with her even though she was spouting off all this techno-babble and didn't even know her. Plus she knew he was disguised. Was it worth it?...honestly, this stranger was his only lead at the moment. No one else was approaching him and offering assistance to his plight.

With a slight sigh his decision was made.

Giving a quick nod he finally agreed with a raised eyebrow. "Fine but no funny business, understand?" he warned, earning nothing but a warm giggle in return. He stood and followed after her, never letting his guard down and wondering now in hindsight if this actually was a good idea. Could this whole circumstance have been an elaborate ploy by Akatsuki? Get him off guard by throwing a nonthreatening female at him with special genjutsu? But…no, Itachi hadn't been there at all. Then again you never know with ninjas…he did his best to dispel any illusions that might have been around bar his own but when the scenery didn't waver the blond came up with two options; 1. the genjutsu was too powerful for him to break, or 2. there was none. For the moment, he was going for the benefit of the doubt.

The duo passed by many people and buildings until finally stopping at a very large apartment complex made of a grey, reflective material. At least the ninja _figured_ it was one. Compared to those in Konoha and the other places he had visited in his travels, these seemed just way over the top. The bluenette moved over to an odd metal box attached to the wall and pressed a small button upon its console with a small jab of her right forefinger. She spoke a few words into it before moving over towards a nearby doorway that slid open with a small 'ding'. Turned out it was actually an elevator as the first floor was nothing more than a small lobby and offices for the employees. The whole ride up Naruto's guide continued staring at him with her bright blue orbs and whenever he'd glance over she would close her own eyes, tilt her head, and smile. Neither tried to initiate conversation but Naruto really had no idea what to say at the moment.

The machinery dinged as the duo stepped off, winding up in front of one of the many doors that inevitably led into the different households. His guide knocked once against the wooden portal etched with the symbols '708' and not three seconds later her call was answered. There stood a petite girl around their age with extremely pale skin, light purplish hair that was short in the back and front yet saddled with side bangs down to her chin, and glasses in front of her amber eyes. She was in the same outfit as the other mystery person but it had shorter sleeves in turn. She stood there unblinkingly and honestly the way she was doing it was creeping the hell out of the jinchuriki. It felt worse than when he first met Gaara. It probably didn't help the oddness factor since she was rather short, only coming up to his chin and causing her to look up at him with those big doe eyes.

"We're here. May we come in?" The doll-like girl gave a near imperceptible nod before turning and moving farther into the dwelling followed by Ms. Blue and Naruto. Inside, the place was pretty much bare save for a short square table crafted from wood left smack dab in the center of the living room. On it rested a few cups of porcelain and a steaming pot of tea. Purple-hair sat down on one side as Bluebell sat at her right and Naruto across. The drinks were passed out and silence reigned throughout the entire space until finally the male couldn't take it anymore after half a minute and he shouted to at least get things started.

"Okay, somebody say something already because I don't have time for this! Where am I, why am I here, and how can I get back home already!" Neither girl was fazed by his outburst, in fact they seemed like they were expecting it. The first female calmly sipped at her tea before setting the cup down and smiling, _yes smiling those perfectly white teeth_, at him once again before speaking tranquilly. Could all she do was smile?

"First I believe we should introduce ourselves before proceeding. My name is Asakura Ryoko." Ryoko tilted her head towards the second girl who merely blinked her eyes and barely opened her mouth.

"Nagato Yuki."

"…feh. I'm-"

"Please drop the illusion first." If the bluenette had been a guy, Naruto would have decked her already for the constant upturning of her lips. It felt like she was mocking him or had no concept of when to stop smiling. But how was that possible? Huffing slightly, the blond formed the ram seal and released the flow of chakra that continuously arced over his body. Brown eyes and hair shimmered and disappeared in a puff of smoke before revealing spiky blond with blue irises. Only Ryoko showed any emotion, mouth now formed into a small 'O' while Yuki continued staring at him. "Oh my, you're rather cute! What are those markings on your face? Do they signify something? What do you think, Nagato-san?"

Nagato remained impassive.

Naruto found himself blushing lightly at being called cute directly but he was proud the scowl stayed firmly on his features. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto and I've always had them ever since I can remember. Now can you please just tell me what's going on already?" Never mind that he had released the 'clothing' he was wearing as well and was once again in the faux pajamas. If either girl noticed (how could they not) then they didn't decide to call him on it.

"The energy you can manipulate does not correlate with any environmental data, signifying it is drawn from inside your very body." Yuki finally decided to speak again, surprising the shinobi with how soft her voice truly was. And yet…she looked so fragile, so was it really that big of a shock? He had to admit though it suited her. "I have never encountered such a natural feat in a human and yet it correlates with our theory that a tear in time/space was created two days ago at four thirty-seven in the afternoon."

"His power _does_ match the data we collected. Who else could it be?"

"Whoa whoa whoa…whoa. Hold up now. What the hell are you two talking about? A tear in space and time? That sounds sorta like-" Perhaps he shouldn't have entertained that train of thought back in the park. Looked like it was coming back to bite him in the ass. "…are…are you saying that…"

"That you are in a different dimension from the one you originate from? It is highly possible." Nagato blinked again as Naruto felt his jaw drop open a few inches from the revelation. But…what in the hell?

"That's bullshit! I would remember if something big like a fuckin' hole appeared in the air and I fell into it! The battle was over! No one used any techniques to do anything like that!" One hand was clenching the table rather tightly as the other dug into the fabric covering his leg, eyes boring into the two girls sitting there as though it was no big deal. Could they not see how life changing this was? And how in the hell did they know about any of this anyways? It was a thought that he then proceeded to voice, getting Asakura to respond in turn to relieve his massive curiosity.

"It's quite simple." she giggled. "We're not human. Normal humans move from day to day, never experiencing life-altering situations in their hum-drum lives. Nagato-san and I, we are…I suppose you could label us as aliens." Now _that_ got him to scoff, though it cooled his anger somewhat.

"Right, and I'm a fairy."

"That revelation is highly unlikely given how Suzumiya-san did not wish for such a creature."

"…what? Seriously, what is going on?"

"Perhaps we should start at the beginning. Asakura Ryoko and myself are not normal human beings."

"…well, yeah. I get that. No offense, but you're both a little…off. Not that I'm one to talk though."

"No. Not in the sense of personality. The two of us are not like the mass majority of humans on the planet such as yourself, though that idea too is flawed due to the high energy reading and output I am currently sensing from you. We are humanoid interfaces that were created for interaction between sentient life and the Data Integration Thought Entity that rules the galaxy."

"Wow…I know I'm sorta gullible and I'm not very smart, but you're really harping on the whole 'aliens' thing, huh? Never heard of anything called the Data…Thinking…thing. Could you, uh, dumb it down for me a bit too?"

"Data Integration Thought Entity. Bodiless masses of data that sprouted from the seas of information that permeate the galaxy and even the universe. They were created at the precise moment the universe came into existence and grew to gargantuan sizes. They are always observing. However, their processes became stagnant during their state of non-evolution and sought a new avenue to indulge themselves with. Thus, it was inevitable that the Data Integration Thought Entity would become interested in the sentient life that resided in the Milky Way Galaxy; mankind. My task is to observe Suzumiya Haruhi and send all information I collect back to the Data Integration Thought Entity. Asakura Ryoko is my backup in this endeavor and there is more of our kind scattered across the Earth. We are both currently in standby mode until such time we are needed."

The whole time she spoke, Yuki's voice was flat and monotone. It reinforced the idea that neither she nor Ryoko knew how to use more than one emotion and, strangely enough, helped sway Naruto slightly into thinking they were more than mere humans. Plus she was using _a lot _of big words but it wasn't affecting him too much though he swore he felt something in his forehead fizzle out. The duo looked normal enough like any other youths would be, but being unable to express nothing more than joy or apathy in their respective cases? Maybe there really was more to them than meets the eye.

"Okay…say I believe you and I'm in some sort of other world and you're 'aliens'" He made sure to flex his fingers when uttering the last word. "I want some proof. Show me your non-human form then." Yuki gave a minute shake of her head, getting him to raise an eyebrow.

"I cannot. My true form is nothing but mass-less data, a lesser whole of the Data Integration Thought Entity. One cannot see us with the naked eye. However-" The small girl paused before tilting her head and looking over at the doorway. "I have manipulated the data surrounding this room. Please attempt to open the door you used to enter my apartment." An odd request, but he stood up and complied anyways. The door opened easily enough but in the place of what used to be an opened doorway there was now nothing but a solid sheet of steel blocking his path. Giving it a few quick knocks he was able to tell it was in no way hollow and rather thick to boot. Spinning on his heel he rejoined the two humanoids and sat down, leaning his chin into his palm with a small sigh.

"Nice trick but it's not very convincing." He sure changed his tune when Nagato's uniform began to glow a bright purple and reassembled itself by way of small blocks into a perfect copy of the outfit he was currently wearing, trimmed down to fit her smaller frame. "Okay…that was better. Not fully convinced but I see you have some truth to what you say." Nodding again she returned her clothing back into its natural shape and took a drink of her beverage.

"Satisfied?" the backup Data humanoid teased, getting Naruto to pout angrily and cross his arms. This was no time for jokes; he needed more information on the situation at large.

"You keep mentioning this Suzumiya person. Who is…she?" he finished, unsure of the person's gender but the name definitely seemed feminine. Asakura reached into the front of her school uniform and pulled a photograph out from the neck hole with a small arch of her wrist. As she passed it over and their fingers touched he gave her a dry, squinty look without even taking a glance at the item now resting in his hands. "Neh…why'd you keep it in your shirt?" Once again the girl giggled and gave a small shrug.

"I don't have any pockets, silly."

"Oh…right. I knew that." So did that mean she kept it in her bra? Weird. As his azure eyes scanned the picture it revealed another pretty female teenager around their age (did these alien things actually age?) with brownish eyes and long brown hair down her back that was exemplified by a bright orangish-yellow ribbon. The girl was in a tight red t-shirt with frills and blue jeans, showing off her modest curves. The lone problem he saw with the picture was Haruhi looked rather put off with whatever situation she was in at the time this was taken.

"So why is she important…and more importantly, why were you carrying around **her** picture in your underwear?"

"Suzumiya-san was the catalyst to your arrival in this world. She is a no-nonsense type of girl, ready to speak her mind and give her opinion no matter what the situation may be. She is considered eccentric and nearly unapproachable by faculty and students alike. Suzumiya-san has no friends to speak of or long-term relationships besides family, citing they are too dull and unnecessary to have." The blue-haired beauty grinned and took the picture back, leaving it upon the wooden table in plain view. "I also have her picture because one should always be prepared, no?"

"I…guess?"

"Suzumiya Haruhi is a normal human gifted with extraordinary power, a girl that adores the mystical and supernatural. Three years ago the Data Integration Thought Entity intercepted a non-regular flare of data from a species that can only interact with limited amounts of data; humans. Within the center of it was Suzumiya Haruhi. Subconsciously she is able to change the environmental data around her to suit her own desires, more so than any humanoid interface. While the cause to such a phenomenon is unknown, it has been discovered to be the self-controlled evolution for both the Data Integration Thought Entity and humankind. In essence, if she wishes for it then the world will rearrange itself to display her want."

So many intelligent words…Naruto was slowly sipping on his tea as the purplenette continued her explanation, pretty much figuring out in the end that this Haruhi could change things to how she wanted them because she had some spooky superpower. Couldn't Nagato speak simpler for his benefit? Apparently not. "I see what you're saying...mostly. She can change the world to how she wants it to be but that doesn't explain why I suddenly wound up here."

"Please take a closer look at the picture, Uzumaki-san." Not even bothering to correct Asakura on the way he wished to be addressed, he slid the thin photograph back into view and scoured it for anything out of the ordinary. After the third scan his eyes did a double-take before locking onto an item nearly hidden from view that was clutched in her hand. It was a small book with a blue hardcover but that was not what caught his attention. It was the kanji spread across the top that spelled out Ninja: A Guide to Ninjitsu. Why was it spelled with an 'I'? Things were called 'jutsu'!

The jinchuriki felt a presence at his side as Ryoko sidled up next to him and tapped a finger against the tabletop. "I see you've discovered it. We believe after she bought and read this book her desire for a tried-and-true ninja manifested itself. Are you by chance a ninja in your home dimension?" Naruto swallowed and nodded slowly at her innocent question, eyes darting between the two women watching him carefully before he finally recovered from the small shock of what he had just learned.

"Y-yeah. I'm…a shinobi of Konohagakure no Sato. But if that's how things worked then why wasn't anyone else called? I'm not the strongest or the smartest…there are plenty of other ninja out there who would've been a better choice."

"Logically you must have a skill or ability that coincided with Suzumiya Haruhi's desire." Naruto remained quiet before shrugging and shaking his head negatively. Did she care for the fact he didn't give up or go back on his word? Honorable, but he didn't see how that worked in this situation. Was it…hmmmm…dash it all, the Uzumaki kept drawing a blank.

"I don't know." he replied simply after racking his brain.

"It may become clear in time. That is not your top priority in this moment. Your challenge will be to become close to her and find a way to suggest you be returned home without exposing yourself or her power and revealing to her what she possesses.

"What? Why? Wouldn't that be easier?"

"No. For all intents and purposes, Suzumiya Haruhi is **God**. If the omnipotent were to become aware of their own power, none would be safe. With her will alone she could wipe out a person and erase their existence, destroy the world and remake it for better or for worse, or even annihilate the universe if that became her aspiration. One stray thought with enough intent behind it and she could effectively remake everything. It is not something we wish to bring into the light. You have been told this because your goals entwine with her inborn data manipulation and you will need her ability to return to your own dimension."

By now Naruto was rubbing at his eyes, trying to digest everything that had entered his ear canals since he first woke up. Could it all really just be an extremely elaborate dream or illusion? Grr…his brain felt like it was going to explode! Why couldn't his life just ever be…be…NORMAL?

"How…how long would this take? Things back home aren't very peaceful right now and I know my friends are freakin' out with me going missing right after a major battle."

"Unknown."

"So I'm just stuck in a new world with nothing but these lame pajamas? None of my clothes or gear was there when I woke up in the hospital."

"Suzumiya Haruhi caused you to be reborn into this world. You are a blank slate that retained your abilities, without a past or history."

"How can I get close to her or whatever if I technically don't exist here?"

"We shall assist you for the moment. Your observations will be a boon towards our reports. Uzumaki Naruto, you will have to research and learn how to blend into this world as we have."

Naruto sighed and dropped forward onto the table, arms splayed across the grain as he finally decided to just let everything go with the flow. What else could he do, really? "Yeah that's fine I guess…but I don't have any clothes or money or anything!" he finished, throwing his arms up into the air and getting a comforting pat on the shoulder from Ryoko. "I guess I can go live in the woods or something…not like I haven't had experience roughing it before. Stupid Ero-sennin…" That was when the light bulb came to life over the male's head, causing him to jump up and nip his finger before flipping through five well-rehearsed handsigns and slapping the bloody palm against the wood. "Wait! That's it! Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

When the smoke appeared he grinned, feeling as though his problems were about to diminish greatly. If he could send a message then he could let the others know where he was and what was going on. Team Asuma and his own squad were probably scouring the forest for any sign of him and at least this way they could head back to Konoha and report if they hadn't already.

"Rrrrrbit!"

"…WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" The blond clutched angrily at his hair upon seeing he had somehow summoned an _actual_, non-talking, non-Gama clan toad. Dark green and small, the amphibian stood on the table calmly as its vocal sac continued to inflate and shrink. Naruto glared angrily at the small animal as he dropped down to eye-level, willing it to say something he could understand. No such luck. It croaked again and continued its gaze at the human before it. With a sneer he waved his hand and desummoned the critter, sending it back towards wherever it had been dragged from.

"What was that about?"

"Summoning…I have a contract with the toads and I thought I could use them to send a message back home. All I got was a regular, non-speaking toad though instead of the special summoning kind. Why didn't it work?" He adopted a thinking pose of one hand on his chin, the other holding his elbow as his brain worked overtime to unlock the mystery. The question was asked rhetorically to himself as his face screwed up in concentration but once again Nagato broke in to provide shed some light on the subject.

"Data suggests the flow of energy pinpointed itself in the Amazon Rainforest before latching onto a common Green Tree Frog and forcefully pulling it through time/space to this location. Energy within the body also flowed freely in the spilled blood, and the blood itself was a secondary catalyst for calling the animal."

"Uh…right. But how come I didn't summon any actual talking toads from my own dimension?"

"I hypothesis the reason is once again Suzumiya Haruhi. There is no known information on your home dimension. Possibly, the book she possesses spoke of ninja techniques in this world but they were severely lacking. Summoning, as you possess, may not be one such ability. I will have to find the same book as she has and read up on the subject."

"There are ninjas here?"

"Not as you may know. They were regular humans from this country's past. In this day and age they are more of an ideal and form of entertainment." Say what? Shinobi were merely…hobbies? So what, if he found a movie theater then he would find flicks about people _pretending_ to be second-rate ninja instead of something amazing like one of the Princess Gale films?

"Arg, this is all so confusing…"

"I believe that's enough for tonight. After all it is growing late in the evening and if we continue on Uzumaki-san may pass out from an overload of information." Ryoko pointed towards the window where the once blue sky was now streaked with purple and red. It was rather pretty but with all the buildings in the way, it took away from the wow factor. Nothing like sunsets back home on top of the Hokage monument, that's for sure.

"Just…just call me Naruto. I don't care for honorifics."

"Very well, Naruto-san." That was close enough, he surmised. These…aliens seemed extremely formal. "Now, as for your mention of living in the woods, that simply will not do. How will you learn to become a functioning member of this world if you stay away from society?"

"I'll just change my appearance and walk around?"

Ryoko shook her head and grinned impishly, placing a finger against her chin as she looked at the displaced boy. "It would be most prudent if you stay with one of us. The situation will work out in the long run if you are close by and-"

"I can't do that!"

"Why not?" She was truly curious by his outburst. Did he not see how beneficial it would be? Better yet, did **she** not realize the implications of what she was asking? It was scandalous! Plus he'd never hear the end of it from Jiraiya if the man somehow found out. And the pervert _always_ somehow found out. Even with him being in an entirely different dimension.

"B-because I'm a guy and you're girls! It'll be embarrassing!"

"We are not truly females. Yes, we have altered our data to take complete and physically accurate bodies and appearances, but in essence we are merely constructs. I do not see the problem."

"So…you're saying you're girls and have everything they should have but you're also **not**? That's weird." At least for him it was. Then again, he only knew the essentials of the opposite sex thanks to his teacher. Other than what he was (horribly) subjected to by the perverted sage, his knowledge was limited. The blond was actually glad Jiraiya took the time to increase his comprehension of females because he felt as though it would help him woo Sakura in the long run but would never admit it out loud, more to just spite the man for throwing him into a brothel one time on their journey and yelling out 'fresh meat'. Anyways, if these extraterrestrial things could be both human and not, then he'd just have to nod his head and agree.

It was easier on his brain that way.

A faint tickling reached his nose and brought Naruto out of his mild contemplations, his eyes un-glassing and focusing on the small film placed before his face. Nagato was leaning slightly across the table with Haruhi's picture in her hands which caused the blond to cock his head to the side quizzically. "Keep it."

"What?"

The small girl never wavered or broke eye contact. "Keep this with you at all times. It will aid you."

"O…kay?" He reached forward and grabbed the photograph, folding it horizontally across the middle and placing it in the breast pocket of his shirt. He didn't see how a mere photo could help him in the long run but decided to humor her. Yuki was obviously smarter than him so he'd take her word for it. In the end it was begrudgingly decided he'd stay with Asakura for the moment as she herself was the one to bring the possibility up. Maybe she was lonely. Could a fake human actually become lonely? What about Nagato then? She didn't seem to mind and her guest room was currently occupied though she failed to say what was in there. Well, he'd be coming around anyways to borrow books from the girl so it wouldn't be too bad.

Ryoko's place was not that different from her fellow alien's. It was a couple floors down and there was a couch and some pictures of scenery on the walls, but essentially it was still pretty bland. She showed him around and gave him a spare futon to lie on, allowing him the extra room to sleep in for the time being. While he still felt nervous about the whole 'living with a female' deal the blond was still rather grateful for the hospitality. Yes, they said it coincided with their own mission, but it was still quite nice of them to aid him in his quest to go home. He just hoped he could live up to his end of the tentative deal.

A soft knock at his door broke the boy from his thoughts and he rose, sliding the wood open to find the beaming face of Ryoko with a bowl of soup in her hands. Naruto stepped back to allow the bluenette entrance and she traipsed inside, handing the boy a spoon as she passed him by. "Tomorrow we will go and buy you clothing and other items for your day-to-day needs. Is that fine with you?"

"Yeah, but I don't have any money remember?" He could just steal if it came to that. It wouldn't be the first time he 'liberated' some goods from a store.

"Not a problem!" she sang happily as her new roommate began to eat. It was only chicken noodle but for some reason it was really, really good. Then again he hadn't eaten all day…or the day before apparently. "Money is not an issue for us. Humanoid interfaces just manipulate surrounding data to create real currency. After all, how would we survive here continuously on Earth without being forced to return to the Data Integration Thought Entity?"

"Oh. Well. That's convenient. So it's really not a problem then?" The humanoid interface waved her hand dismissively as the boy quickly slurped up the yellow broth. Sighing in relief Naruto handed over the bowl and utensil but he stopped the girl before she could leave. "Hey I have a question. How come Yuki didn't seem to show any emotion? It was sorta freakin' me out a bit how unresponsive she was, acting all mellow the whole time."

"We were both created with limited social functions. We are not truly human after all, so how could we simulate that which we cannot initially understand? Our grasp on emotion is petty at best."

"I can see that with Yuki but _you_? You're so…expressive." Ryoko grinned lightly and set the bowl down before clasping her hands together, tilting her body forward and causing the blue-haired female to look at him with rather wide eyes. He actually had to lean back a bit as she had entered his personal space and it was either move or lock lips.

"Thank you, Naruto-san! Unlike Nagato-san, I have been studying humans far more intently and have learned how to act just like one flawlessly! Unless you knew I was an interface, no one could tell I wasn't a true organic being. I may go shopping with friends, or go on a date, or even fall in love!...well, if I was programmed to understand the concept. I could explain it scientifically but that's about it…" She trailed off while dropping silently into thought, tapping her cheek before shrugging and once again picking up the empty bowl. "But that's okay. My functions would cease to exist long before I could enter the phase of raising a family."

"You could have kids? I mean, even though your body's not real?"

Asakura only giggled and wagged her finger, moving to the door and leaning against the frame while looking back over her shoulder. "Of course. I would only have to allow myself to be impregnated unlike other women who cannot choose whether or not a pregnancy may happen. Like I explained before, this body is one-hundred percent authentic. Sexual intercourse and childbirth would not be a problem, as my own personal data has been tweaked to include deoxyribonucleic acid that has the possibility of being passed on. Now if that is all, goodnight Naruto-san. Pleasant dreams."

"Sure…you too."

"Oh, I don't dream." And then she was gone, closing the door behind her with a soft click after turning off the light. As the last hint of blue disappeared from his vision Naruto exhaled explosively and fell back onto his pillow with a large blush adorning his face. There was no way Ryoko could not have missed it before she left. Yes, he was curious but did the girl really have to talk about sex like that so casually? Oh right…she didn't exactly understand social norms like that. Or did she? Why was this whole day turning into nothing but a multitude of questions that were making his head hurt?

"I wonder how long it'll take before I get Haruhi to wish me back home? I'm sorta…scared. Everything seems so different here." Silence filled the room as his eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness before the sound of teeth snapping together clicked out. It was followed by a few small flips and the mumbled words 'kuchiyose no jutsu'.

"…rrrbit."

"Dammit…I wanna go home already."

This world, if it really was a separate reality, sucked big time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What about this one?"

"Seems kind of lame."

"Come now, Naruto-san. The color orange cannot be used for everything."

"In the perfect world it would be." he groused, folding his arms over his chest and turning his head with a mild frown. Ryoko giggled at his childishness and placed the shirt back on the rack before moving down the line. The two had been at this for some time, having disappeared down to the shopping district to gather items for the blond ninja to live off of. The alien had changed her own clothing into a white sundress while Naruto had hidden his hospital outfit away behind another illusion. Good thing it was the one genjutsu he _could_ do, never mind the fact he overloaded it with so much chakra it pretty much became real until it was dispelled.

The shoes were real though, having been the first item bought on their outing. He was tired of walking around barefoot but these…tennis shoes just felt plain wrong. Where was the missing segment for his toes? He could barely spread the poor digits out! How the hell could he run fast now when he couldn't flatten his foot wide enough to allow for better traction? Proper footwear for a ninja was just as important as learning techniques.

They had finally chosen some outfits after Asakura finally put her foot down against his stubbornness and began picking tops and bottoms that looked like they would fit. There was barely any orange…but his fellow shopper began giving off that look he had seen plenty of times on Sakura and Tsunade back home and knew he better not push the situation anymore. Whether she was faking it or actually began to feel annoyance at his indecisiveness, he didn't know. What Naruto did know was that he was definitely interested in the thing she kept bringing out of her purse. To pay for all their purchases she was using something called a 'credit card' that magically seemed to pay for everything they bought and Naruto was astounded by the concept.

Time continued to pass and the duo picked up necessities like a toothbrush, deodorant, and undergarments much to his embarrassment. They finally stopped around lunchtime to grab a bite to eat when the waitress complemented them on being such a cute couple. Naruto nearly choked on his ramen (this world had it too! Maybe it wasn't as bad as he originally thought!) as the bluenette merely thanked her and smiled at the boy, getting him to grow warm again and dive back into his meal to metaphorically escape. He was chastised later on about letting the girl pay for his meal, causing Ryoko to lightly pinch his cheek and remark to the employee that the blond would pay her back at a later time.

Those words felt slightly ominous to his ears but couldn't understand as to why.

With the food finished, the two were on their way back to the apartment complex with bags in hand. They made small talk all the way back up to the room where he dropped off the items before inevitably returning to Nagato's apartment to begin his acclimation into the dimension's society. Yuki had pulled a large load of books from somewhere within her empty living space and they covered most of her table, gesturing for him to begin as soon as he was through the door. Naruto actually sighed audibly in relief when he was able to form shadow clones, glad that his signature move was still available to him in this wacky place.

A plethora of clones dove right into the pile while the real jinchuriki stayed off to the side, talking about his own specific world to the two data constructs. They seemed curious about the alternate dimension where ninjas were the superpower of the lands and most technology was nearly nonexistent. Naruto figured they might be able to help better if they knew more about him and his ways while his clones used their experience-transfer ability to gather the information without him having to lift a finger. He was so glad he learned about it recently to help speed up his training…although it would have been much handier **years** ago.

"Hey, Nagato." Naruto started after pausing to sip some of the tea the purplenette always seemed to have at the ready. "I was wondering. How come you didn't want to go with us today when we asked? You might've enjoyed all the shopping...maybe. Girls always seem to get excited when they go shopping."

"Unnecessary."

"You might have found some…new books?" He scanned the room, seeing the blocks of paper as the most abundant item she owned. The thin girl refused to say anything more on the matter, instead asking for him to continue explaining his home life. While he slowly moved to keep explaining his people's ways, Naruto couldn't help but decide he would try to get Yuki to lighten up like Ryoko already was. Who knows how long it would take him…if it even worked. But it would do her good, he reckoned.

The first clone popped after it finished skimming through a small pamphlet on the different areas of Japan, getting him to pause and grumble about lazy asses. Clearly the jinchuriki's copy could have stocked up on more information before returning to nothing but it gave the boy a decent idea in its wake: exploration. After all, if he was going to be living here for a time then it would do him good to have an outline of the area. The trip to the stores today didn't count because they took something called a 'taxi' and it didn't give him the freedom he wanted.

At his sudden movement the two data interfaces blinked and broke from their trance of absorbing his vocal information, Ryoko pouting slightly at the way he impolitely stopped talking, ignored them, and stood. "Is there a problem?"

"Oh…no. Sorry. I just had an idea. While my clones keep studying _without dispelling after one tiny thing_-" The glare he sent them caused a small number of the kage bunshin to look away and whistle. It looked like more than a few had that idea in their minds. "-I was going to take a break myself and go out and explore. Get used to the area and the places around here." The clap of hands and delighted smile stretched across his new roommate's face proved that at least one of them approved of his idea. The nearly imperceptible nod from the other caused a small grin to form on his face. At least there wasn't any resistance to his plan.

"Wonderful idea, Naruto-san! It wouldn't do for you to become hopelessly lost if we asked you to run an errand."

"Plus I wanna stretch my legs for a bit. It can't hurt, right?" With a promise to be back before dark, the blond exited the apartment and returned to the ground level. With no exact plan in mind he mentally flipped a coin and eventually chose left. After all, that was the way the transport from before went too and it wouldn't hurt to learn how to get to the stores. In fact, after hiding behind the building and sure he was out of sight, Naruto created a few more copies of himself and sent them off after they changed to look like run-of-the-mill citizens. Each going a different way equated to a larger map of the area once they dispelled.

Good idea, if he did say so himself.

He stopped to play with a passerby's small dog that reminded the teenager of a puppy Akamaru before strolling off a pit peppier. A few of the buildings began to pique his memory and it only took ten more minutes and a few questions on directions before the lad found himself in familiar surroundings. With a grin Naruto decided it wouldn't hurt to poke around for a few more minutes. Maybe he could discover something cool on his second go-around now that the focus wasn't on clothing. His attention was suddenly drawn by the influx of new memories from one of his clones who had finished reading up on some history, and it caused the boy to not pay attention to his surroundings. He turned the corner sharply without a care and soon realized why even here, he should keep his head out of the clouds.

**WHAM**

A rough, feminine squeak reached his ears as something both solid yet soft impacted against his chest and forehead. Naruto staggered backwards and blinked while rubbing the stinging on his face before realizing he had, indeed, just ran into someone. Stupid clone, making him not watch where he was going. As he looked down to help the one he bumped against, the first thing he locked on to with his sight was a hair ribbon dyed in his favorite shade. That was followed by long brown locks, disgruntled brown eyes, and a heavily frowning mouth. They all seemed rather familiar…

Oh shit.

Already? So soon? He had no time to prepare for this encounter! Was it all by chance or, as Yuki and Ryoko explained, did she…what was the phrase, subconsciously desire that they meet? This was all way too complex for a simple boy like Naruto. Urg…

"Hey! That was rude! Stop daydreaming and at least help me up!" Before he could even retort his hand darted out and clasped against her smaller one. With a small heave, Suzumiya Haruhi was back on her feet, scowling at the blond while she dusted off the skirt wrapped around her waist and the blue tank-top over her chest. He tried to play off staring at her by drawing his blue eyes back to her face where the girl was now watching him with a curious glare. Before he could even form a reply she was already off, speaking so he couldn't. "You need to watch where you're going! If that had been an older person or younger child they could have been seriously hurt!"

While she had a point it still irked the ninja in a way reminiscent of his younger years. Some things never change, even as time passes and people grow older. "Oi! Half of it's your fault! Maybe _you_ should watch where you're walking also!"

"Well I never!"

"You're damn right you never!" His eyes slammed shut and clenched tightly, mentally berating himself for such a lame comeback. It didn't even make sense! The rich laugh he heard come from his 'opponent' didn't help matters either. When he cracked an eye open he noticed her initial grumpiness had morphed into something more akin to calm irritation, hands against her hips as she scanned him over.

"Do you think you're cool or something with dying your hair? And blue contacts? Really? That's totally stupid." Oh wow. That was just dandy. No wonder Asakura mentioned Haruhi didn't have any long-term relationships. Well…he knew that his own personality could get annoying when he was excited…or normal, but he didn't flat out suddenly belittle someone after first meeting them.

Unless he knew they were bad.

Or they rubbed him the wrong way.

Or countless other little reasons.

Okay, maybe he was being hypocritical.

"Yeah well…good job but you're totally wrong. I've always had blond hair and my eyes are naturally blue, thank you very much. Way to make a good first impression by the way." This time the girl snorted as other pedestrians flowed around the pair, giving them a wide berth. "What? Why the hell would I dye my hair anyways?"

"To try and look tougher." she quipped idly, causing the jinchuriki to growl. Instead of somehow discouraging her, her eyes suddenly gleamed with a rather intense emotion he couldn't quite decipher before she darted her upper body forward until she was right in his face. He jerked back, wondering what had come over her when the brunette's mouth quirked into a toothy grin and she began firing questions at him that was in no way compatible with the mood she had been in only minutes before.

"What are-"

"So you aren't lying and that's all natural? I still find that hard to believe but then again, you never know with all the mysteries that can be found in the world. Does that mean you aren't from around here?"

"Well, yeah I guess you could-"

"You're not? Then where are you from? Did you come here recently? I've never actually seen you around before but it's not like I know every single person in this city…which school did you go to? Is it close by? Or perhaps, somewhere farther away?"

"I went to an academy but-"

"Academy, like some private school? Or a special academy? In fact, I just bought this book a few days ago that mentioned how ninjas were taught in small groups but there was speculation that they had a school for each of the different clans that taught the skills they needed. I was never into them before but after researching ninjas, I have to say it caught my attention! Not as amazing as aliens but still pretty impressive! What about you? Do you believe that aliens are out there, either on or off our planet? I do, but I've never actually found any proof…but that doesn't mean they don't exist!"

"I guess aliens are real but-"

"You do? Finally, someone else in this boring town agrees with me!" The teenager slowly stalked forward as their rather one-sided conversation continued, forcing the blond to scramble backwards so as to not become trapped by her. The girl was really pushy and found her presence could be rather overbearing compared to the other females in his life. It slightly freaked him out. "What's your name? I bet it's something crazy foreign, right? Or it's something really hard to pronounce!"

Brown eyes flashing almost feverishly, Naruto couldn't help but feel his old flight instincts beginning to act up. But instead of Iruka-sensei or the ANBU, it was a pretty girl slightly shorter than himself. But how could he escape and regroup without giving himself away? He needed to use all the skills in his possession to come out without raising suspicion. "My name? It's, uh…HOLY CRAP IS THAT AN ALIEN?" The shout and look of pure surprise on the shinobi's face caused the young beauty to spin so fast he thought her spine might snap from the rotation.

"What? Where? Right here in a crowded area? That's amazing!" But there was nothing. No aliens. No amazing looking off-worlders. Not even something considered Japanese folklore like a kappa. What a bogus accusation and terrible letdown! When she turned back around to scold the stranger on raising her hopes so deftly _and_ for not even introducing himself (bar the fact she hadn't either but then again he never asked), the first syllable out of her mouth was spoken towards thin air.

Off in the distance Haruhi could see him speeding down the bustling street, nimbly dodging through the crowded walkways and exterior shops. It was nothing like the clumsiness he had showed before when the two smacked bodies together. However, instead of giving chase at the highly suspicious behavior, the neo-deity crossed her arms against her bust and watched him flee with an oddly approving smirk.

Now this was a rather interesting situation.

Using her love of the supernatural to swiftly catch her attention and find an avenue to run away? How very sneaky of him even though it angered the female somewhat for tricking her. It was almost like…nah, that wasn't possible. Tried and true ninjas weren't even around anymore and the closest thing to them was those special classes that were taught by 'ninja masters' to pass on said shinobi skills. The brunette had done a bit of poking around and checked up on a couple of the groups but none grabbed at her attention. To her, there wasn't really any point in spending her money when it was a bunch of older men likely to try and perv on her instead of doing what she wanted.

Tsking softly, Haruhi began walking down the street with a slight spring now visible in her step despite the negativity of what had just happened. Okay…maybe she had been a wee bit pushy. It wasn't her fault though! She was excited! Meeting someone else in an unconventional manner that freely admitted that aliens could exist? How could she not become enthused? Not as good as finding an actual extraterrestrial though. Besides, it had been a nice little pick-up to her rather boring day. Especially after the letdown she had gone through that involved her latest interest.

Ninjas.

There were no actual shinobi or kunoichi in this day and age, and she knew that. The book she had picked up while out shopping one day had been for more of a passing interest, but she was wholly unprepared to actually be sucked into the mystery. While it had originally been a downing thought to know that any people with special powers were actually just humans who knew how to be extremely stealthy, it didn't stop her from believing that somewhere, someplace, or even in some other world, they could actually be real. Plus the enigmatic teenager had found a silver lining to the day's events: there was at least one other person in Japan that she could safely say was interesting.

Now she just had to corner the mysterious natural blond…after finding him again, of course.

How hard could that be?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Eyes stared intently at the now unfolded picture of Suzumiya as it laid upon the familiar wooden table. Shaking his head Naruto creased the photograph yet again and slid it into one of the folds of his new wallet. He missed Gama-chan, instead getting stuck with this weird leather rectangle. And paper money as currency (but then what about the credit card whatchamajigger? Gah!)? Well actually…that was easier to carry than the slightly weighty ryo. But that truly wasn't the problem at the moment.

"Cripes! I wasn't expecting her to pop up like that!"

"Theoretically it is possible Suzumiya Haruhi wished to meet with you."

"She wants to meet aliens too so how come you or Asakura haven't gone and talked with her yet?"

"It is not yet our time."

When Naruto looked at Yuki expectantly, the petite alien did what he had slowly come to realize was her 50/50 chance response whenever he asked her something; to blink at him and stay silent. The small smile on his face as he waited for her to reply slowly slipped away into a frown before the blond grumbled and furrowed his brow at her.

"Fine. Whatever…be all cool and mysterious. It totally doesn't annoy me and make me curious at the same time."

**BLINK**

"…you're lucky you're cute."

Naruto stood with a sigh and cracked his neck, sticking his hands in his pockets as he looked back down at his acquaintance. "Alright, I should probably head back to Asakura's. My clones have finished studying for the day and I now have a good idea on this place's topography. I'll see you later, Nagato." Her head tilted once again as the ninja moved over and slipped on his shoes, his mind already working on a plan in case he ran into Haruhi again. It was inevitable, but this next time he hoped that he'd be in more control of the situation.

So deep in thought, he never noticed the space in front of the bedroom doorway near the entrance crackle inconspicuously with static when his shoulder nearly rubbed against the translucent barrier. The purple-scalped female watched him go before standing herself and moving over to where Naruto was only seconds before. With a minor push of her will the obstruction strengthened and the data righted itself and stopped giving off tiny sparks.

With the disturbance now taken care of the data construct returned to her spot, kneeling in front of the book-covered table. Graceful hands reached out and grabbed one of the smaller novels near the edge and carefully flipped its pages until the paper revealed a bookmark. Amber eyes began softly roaming over the words before she turned the page with a diminutive crinkle. It was all Yuki could do at the moment while she kept herself in forced imprisonment, not that it really mattered to her anyways.

She currently had a job that confined her within the space of her own apartment. For her to leave and lose control over a limited area of organized data could very well mess with the space-time continuum and how future events were supposed to play out. After all, she had already synced with the Nagato Yuki from the future to make sure that certain incidents in the past forced Suzumiya Haruhi to undertake assured actions in her life.

The mysterious bedroom was one such episode.

For now, all the small girl could do was wait and absorb more data from this planet's literature until her task was complete and she had full reign to move about. It wouldn't be too much longer. After all, it would only be about one more month before she needed to discover new tomes to examine. While slower than a mass transit of downloaded data, it was much more comfortable than trying to log her body into the internet. Books, in fact, gave her an ironic sense of what she believed to be humanity.

A minor thought echoed through her memory banks when her eyes landed on the printed word 'attractive'. Naruto had called her cute, had he not? She had chosen to make her avatar appealing but still it was...odd...to hear someone mention it, even in annoyed passing such as he had. She did not understand the concept of attraction though and the information on the subject was missing from her data structure. Perhaps she could discover more within a book.

Humans seemed to have one published on everything nowadays.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: In case you didn't pick up on this, the start of this story takes place during the summer before the SOS Brigade is formed and Haruhi meets Kyon and the others. I was finally able to finish this but it felt like it took forever. I don't know how many times I reedited this chapter due to things just feeling off. I hope it's good._

_Also, it's quite a ways off but I cannot wait for the Disappearance arc. I have to say, it's one of my favorite movies and pretty much stars Yuki. The fundamentals will have to change though since Naruto will be there. I hope it works out in the end._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: You've seen that this story involves Naruto and Haruhi Suzumiya. Sorry, but I **do not** own them.

Chapter 2:

[June 4th: Year -1]  
[Nishinomiya, Hyōgo Prefecture, Japan]

It was…boring.

Possibly an understatement.

Being unable to go on missions was such a hassle! Not having anyone to spar against was a bitch too. The most Naruto could do was work out or practice his known ninja techniques to make sure he didn't get rusty in the long run. On occasion he would venture back out into the city, either with or without his blue-haired roommate for multiple reasons. Sometimes it was groceries. Other times it was just to get out for a bit and explore.

And yet…even with these outings that always contained different situations, there were still two constants in his new life: Yuki remained a hermit and Haruhi turned into a metaphorical ghost. The young alien still wouldn't leave her apartment despite the blond's urgings and would reply that she would leave after a certain date in July though only for small amounts of time. He was still getting used to the silly fact that their months were literally the same as his own...but they were ahead of the Elemental Nations. Or maybe behind? He had no idea since the years were inherently different. It was around November when he disappeared. Right now it was during June and summer vacation for the schools wouldn't begin until late July. Despite being dressed to go to a 'high school', she also explained there was still half a year to go before it would be time for her to remove herself from being on standby.

Naruto only nodded and acted like it was perfectly understandable.

He took to spending time in her place anyways, reading whatever books were lying around to help pass the time. The jinchuriki wouldn't admit it out loud but he was actually enjoying learning about this place and all the different varieties of books they had. He was able to do it in peace without fear of being discovered and admonished for it, or that the books would contain altered information just to mess with him and his learning. Not so much after his tenure out with Jiraiya, but it had been a problem way before his training trip.

Yuki herself was his stalwart reading companion while occasionally gracing him with a softly spoken word or answer if she truly had to open her mouth. Mostly she used her body language to reply to his questions unless they were not a yes or no query. At least she responded in a _civilized_ manner. Sakura would have already punched him countless times over for his natural curiosity. What else is one supposed to do when they want to understand something though?

Ah…even with the looming threat of bodily harm, the shinobi still missed his homeland. Were they even looking for him? Was he considered missing or dead? Or was he effectively erased from existence over there because of Suzumiya's wish to transport him to her world and make him a part of it?

And speaking of the resident god…she had effectively dropped off of his radar. Despite his minor freak-out during their first encounter it wasn't like Naruto was going out of his way to steer clear of the cute faux deity. In fact, whenever he headed back out into the world he would always be on the lookout for that wonderful orange ribbon. But for once his luck wasn't giving him good odds on bagging a win. Oh well…Ryoko mentioned a sure-fire way for the blond to bump into her but it wouldn't be viable for some time. Until then it seemed like he would just have to keep his eyes peeled.

At the moment Naruto was sprawled across his futon in nothing more than a loose shirt and baggy shorts, staring at the ceiling while trying to decide on what to do for the day. No reading today; he was burned out and didn't feel like making any clones. Perhaps he could go and check out that arcade building again or the hobby shop? He liked those strange machines where you turned the crank and an egg-shaped container would give you a prize. So far he had a few cheap figurines from some series called Monster Hunter and thought the plastic creatures looked cool. If there had been a summoning technique to call on the Rathalos or Lao Shan Lung, battles would be over in a jiffy with his opponents running away like the hounds of Hell were after them! You know what? He might even swing by the bookstore just to look for that book Haruhi used to bring him here.

That was, if he had the urge to move.

While summer here reminded the teenager of Konoha's normal weather, the humidity that day made it feel as though he was back in Sunagakure. Wearing all black and wrapped in metal. Underneath a magnifying glass. Temperature didn't seem to bother the two resident humanoid interfaces at all and the open windows could only do so much for his plight. Plus there was that whole living mass of malevolent chakra in his gut that equaled a higher body temp. It never bugged him before but for some weird reason it felt as though he would melt soon unless he found relief. Slowly but steadily he had noticed that wherever he went, the places were way too hot for his tastes. Sure, it was hot for everyone…maybe it was just all in his mind?

**KNOCK KNOCK**

"Naruto-san? Are you in there?"

"Yeah…what's up?"

"May I come in?" The bluenette could hear some grumbling before the blond finally responded to her request and allowed her to. As Naruto raised his lazy head to greet her, his head snapped to the side with bulging eyes and twin bright red streaks gushing from his nose. For _whatever_ reason, Asakura was standing in his doorway with her arms demurely clasped behind her back, clad in a white bikini. That, however, was not that big of a sight to significantly raise his blood pressure.

Oh no.

It was the fact that the bits of cloth covering her breasts and nether regions were much smaller in comparison to someone such as Ryoko who had distinctively fuller assets. The swimsuit didn't even look like it would look modest on someone like Nagato who was at least a cup and a half sizes smaller than the long-haired beauty. The tiny triangles were positioned just so that her nipples were covered, and he was pretty sure that lower half was a thong.

"_What the hell are you wearing?_" he positively shrieked, covering his eyes with his hands but reflexively leaving some space between the fingers to continue viewing.

"I wished to show you my new swimsuit. Why, is something the matter?" She truly looked as though she didn't understand how she'd probably get arrested for public indecency, what with the cute tilt to her head and questioning stare and all.

"Yes! You're popping out of the damn thing! Where the hell did you find that?"

"A magazine." No doubt she had wandered into the more mature section that would have Jiraiya cackling malevolently with glee. And then she decided to buy it or copy its form? Holy hell!

"That's...that's not a normal swimsuit! That looks like something a woman would wear in private before she…well, before she decided to something privately!" It was even clear to Ryoko he was speaking about it being used in foreplay before two humans became intimate. Why not just come out and say it though? The boy was truly what they call a prude. How peculiar. Teenage males were nothing but a mass of hormones at this period in their lives so why was he so different?

It was just more data to collect on their newest acquaintance.

"I do not see the problem."

"Unless you want everyone gawking or thinking they'll get lucky with you, you need to cover more skin!" Ryoko just continued to stare at him as the boy glared back, still glowing brightly in the face, until he noticed her smirk and she suddenly hopped in place. It was like a magnet as his eyes were drawn to the bouncing globes of flesh before he realized just what he had done and rolled over to disappointedly break his line of vision.

Ryoko merely giggled into her hand before placing them upon her hips and shaking her head derisively. "I merely did this to note your reaction. You are quite uncomfortable or embarrassed around females that expose themselves, are you not? Or perhaps…you are homosexual?"

"WHAT?"

"A heterosexual male would find this view to be quite pleasurable."

"J-just because I get nervous doesn't mean I don't like what I see!" At that he buried his face in his pillow. She could still make out the words mumbled into the fabric though. "I've never really been prepared for situations like this…Ero-sennin wasn't very helpful…"

"I merely did this to aid you as well, Naruto-san. I recall your discomfort at the end of our conversation during your first night staying here and decided you could use the help. You need to blend in like the rest of us and so I figured this could be of some use."

She received a gurgle that sounded like 'thanks'. Oh it helped alright. And it would stick with him for a very, very long time. Possibly at night…or later in the shower. Raising the cushion just enough to reveal his mouth, the boy spoke even though as the image continued burning in his retinas and his body relaxed. "Don't worry…it helped me." The reverse blood flow to his lower half sure drained the awkwardness right out of him.

"I suppose that's true. You do not look as tense as you were before and I feel that you will not be detrimental to our mission at this time…there. My attire is more appropriate now." She made no comment on the fact his pants looked tighter. Human biological functions almost made her want to roll her eyes. Or take a look for herself to see what the live organic reaction was like.

Naruto slowly, _ever so slowly_, unraveled himself from his makeshift blinder and breathed a sigh of relief (and unbidden disappointment) at what he saw. The string-kini had grown in size into a form-fitting brownish one-piece that revealed her slim stomach and back, except for the X straps across the back that held it up. It looked pretty good on her actually. "It's cute." he quipped, scratching his chin as his erection finally decided to calm itself. Well…somewhat. Dammit. "So besides trying to give me a heart attack, is there a reason for the swimsuit?"

"I've noticed your discomfort due to Japan's currently higher-than-normal heat and believed we could go for a swim. Plus I would be able to witness how irritated crowds act in a general public setting up close. With another person at my side it will be less strange than simply a lone girl going by herself on the weekend."

The ninja pulled at the back of his shirt, the fabric sticking to his skin due to his laying upon it. It wouldn't hurt to go cool off and this could be that relief he was waiting for. "I guess that sounds good. But I don't have a sui-mmph!" His eyes were quickly obscured by something and caused the blond to flail about before fingertips finally found purchase on the soft material and ripped it away. Turned out it was an orange suit that would reach down past his knees with white drawstrings and some woven insignia on the right side. "You've…been planning this, haven't you?"

The alien only giggled softly again with a smile. "Not exactly. But when I noticed the atmospheric rise in temperature then I knew at some point to suggest traveling to the public pool."

"Public…pool?" What the hell was that? Some weird alternate world thingy? Back in Konoha, anyone who was able would throw on something such as older clothes or a swimsuit and then just find a body of water to relax in. He himself would go jump in a river or even buy a cold snack to help lower the temperature…like a popsicle. Mmmm…orange or grape flavored. Hmmm…maybe he'd go and buy one anyways? The last time he ate one was with Jiraiya when the duo were still traveling around for training.

It was settled then.

But in the meantime…really, what the hell was a pool?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Could this metal behemoth go _any_ slower? Naruto growled slightly under his breath as he stared at the scenery that crawled by just outside of the glass window, chin resting in his sweaty palm as more sweat rolled down his sweaty forehead. Even with the air-conditioning flooding the interior he was still so fucking sweaty! The taxi was stuck in a minor traffic jam and all the boy could do was irritably try and will his situation to change.

It didn't.

He growled again upon seeing an old woman with a walker passing them on the sidewalk of downtown Nishinomiya, even though the elder walked with a steady limp. He wondered if all cities here were like this...stuffy. If this was Konoha, there'd be shinobi using the buildings as transit and making the mess a whole lot less annoying. That was the way to go!

"You need to relax." Ryoko chided lightly from the seat next to him, hands clasped together on top of a large tote bag that rested on her lap. "Becoming angry will do nothing to help shorten the journey."

"I could have run there and back by now. These…cars are way too slow."

"You do not even know where the public pool is yet."

"…I'd ask for directions." The bluenette merely smiled and patted his cheek with soft eyes, making Naruto feel like the act was much more condescending than it should have been. Was it because the teenager was merely a 'lowly' organic human that was struggling while she was an intelligent, highly advanced alien data watchamajigger that could seemingly do literally whatever the hell she wanted? Or more simply, because that was not an act a normal human would have done unless they truly felt like the person next to them was an idiot?

Not cool.

The blond hated to be looked down upon, even _if_ it was no contest that Ryoko was better than him. Plus, she and Yuki were his only means of support so it was better to just shoulder the annoyance for now. He'd find a way to let off steam sometime. Also the pretty humanoid still didn't exactly understand emotion…so maybe he was just reading too much into what she did; especially after that embarrassing fiasco earlier in the day.

With a sigh he returned to staring out the window but internally rejoiced when they _finally_ started to move without pause. Five minutes later they were finally free of the car and walked towards a medium-sized square building sporting a high chain-link fence surrounding the nearby lot. People of all ages wearing all manner of swimsuits could be seen through the barrier, frolicking and hanging around a large rectangular hole in the ground that was filled with water. Not only that but one section was cordoned off for a massive, curvy slide which deposited people in a large splash of liquid. Oh…he was so totally going to ride that.

"Shall we?" his partner's melodious voice asked as he nodded before the two walked inside. After paying for a pair of park passes, Naruto and Ryoko split off to enter their respective changing rooms. After finding an empty stall the blond stripped off his shorts before pulling on his new trunks and exiting to wait for his companion. The data construct was soon to follow as she stepped out in a pair of flip-flops and her slightly revealing one-piece. It was apparent that Asakura had transmogrified her suit from what Naruto like to call her default outfit #2, or the plain sundress she occasionally wore. Her #1 was the North High school uniform and what she usually wore back at home.

After finding a locker for their belongings and locking it up, they continued on towards a surprisingly empty set of reclining chairs that no one laid claim to even with the amount of pool-goers. Blue eyes were inevitably drawn towards her swaying hips and round derriere, idly noting the fake female had that aspect of humanity down pat. Then the jinchuriki abruptly tore his eyes away lest he be caught and punished for it. Just because Sakura wasn't around didn't mean his luck would stay positive and he would _not_ be hit for it.

…on that note, why'd he let the pinkette do that anyways?

Sure, Sakura had toned down the violence as of late but it's like everyone had become conditioned to just let it be. Maybe because his own master was always being pummeled by her master, and the two just emulated their 'teachings' despite it happening years before either ninja became students of the sannin. It didn't matter that he healed quickly; that shit still hurt!

Naruto blinked quickly at the revelation, just now realizing that he was now seated on one of the chairs while staring blankly at the towel in his lap as Ryoko gazed at him with a slightly worried pout. Where had that sudden doubt come from concerning his teammate? Was that…really how he felt? Because he never had the urge to complain about it before. "Are you alright? You became unfocused after staring intently at my backside and did not answer me at all when I tried to initiate conversation." The teen just grinned and sheepishly rubbed the nape of his neck in response.

"Sorry, I got lost in thought for a minute. You were saying?" It was then the full impact of Ryoko's words hit him and his mouth unhinged in shock. "Wait you knew I was checking you out?" he all but screamed, getting both snickers and disapproving glares from those surrounding them. When she raised a slender eyebrow that silently asked 'did you forget what I am?' he could only grimace and shrug his shoulders with a sigh. "Right…"

"Are you prepared to get in the water yet?" she asked him while reaching within her bag. In response Naruto peeled off his sweaty shirt with major difficulty (it was quite comical watching him flail about as the wife-beater had pretty much turned into a second skin by that point in time). "I must warn you not to purposely drink the water, though small amounts are not harmful. There are chemicals added to the pool to help keep it preserved for a longer period of time."

"Oh…cool?" How odd. "You going in too?"

"Not at this moment. Go and enjoy yourself." With a small smile and a tilt of his head, Naruto took off into the crowd of fellow pool-goers. The blue-scalped female reached into her bag and pulled out a tube of sunscreen and began rubbing the lotion upon her pale arms and legs. It was only to keep up with appearances, as someone of her fair skin tone would need the added protection. She would most likely join her roommate sometime later in the day once the situational problem surrounding the blond finally played out.

Besides, a minor twinge of her data manipulation would allow her to reach out and gather a large amount of human-interaction data with the ruckus taking place.

Two birds with one stone, if she was interpreting that right?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Heaven.

That's what this place was. The water was downright frigid but to Uzumaki Naruto, it was _just_ what he needed in that moment. He couldn't understand why he felt so gosh darn hot but at the moment he didn't really care. Submerged up to his nose the blond slowly floated himself past fellow swimmers until he neared the exit tunnel of the pool's slide and stood up. Sweat had been replaced by chlorinated water as he stood and gazed up at the tall structure.

"Alright." Naruto grinned with a squinty gaze, punching his fist into his other hand with gusto. "Time to check that crazy thing out." Climbing the spiraling stairs was a bit of a chore when he had to do it the _normal_ way but the end result seemed worth it if the delighted shouts of people sliding by were anything to go on. Honestly, he hadn't felt exhilaration that could have been classified as non-combatant since…hell, probably since he learned how to control wind chakra and honestly, that could have been years ago in theory if the timelines were off. And that just made him clam up to the impeding headache it would cause.

Taking that final step up and moving onto the base platform Naruto took a peek over the edge just for the hell of it. Boy they were high up…but he'd been much higher. Boss summons were a bit of a wildcard though, seeing as making a slide as tall as Gamabunta would have been overkill. For naught but a moment the ninja wondered just how much of an uproar he could cause if he jumped over the side and then got up after like it was no big deal. He wouldn't be hurt of course but the reactions would definitely be humorous enough to warrant the fallout he would cause. Especially when he knew he would be asked how he was uninjured and his answer to shock and awe was **'I have no idea'**.

Naruto quickly squashed that train of thought…who knows how Yuki or Ryoko would respond to his fleeting incident. There was that time he found his roommate chopping vegetables and, for whatever reason possessed her to do so, it was with a carbon steel combat knife. Her cheery disposition as she greeted him and waved that wicked-looking weapon around did not mesh. _At all_. The bluenette seemed to have a knife fetish and he didn't fancy wanting to learn what she might do to him with one.

The thought alone made him shudder and turn back towards the slide's opening. Someone else had beaten him there first as he wasted time taking in the view. The attendant was speaking with a slim girl with her brown hair tied up in a pair of ox horns. "I know, I know! You don't have to keep telling me how to go down the darn slide! It's not like I feel like going down backwards while doing a handstand!" The female huffed in annoyance while she sat while warning bells began ringing dangerously in the blond's head as he heard her snippy voice. There was just no way…

…was there?

The brunette turned her head to give the employee one more verbal jab but an unruly mop of yellow caught her amber eyes and gave her major reason to pause. She spun in the small wading pool, allowing Naruto to get a full glimpse of her face with both of their gazes going wide in varying amounts of recognition. She even had that orange ribbon still braided into her hair. '_Oh wow…I should have seen that coming._' Was she really somehow guiding his 'new' life behind the scenes? Because that really didn't fly with Naruto.

"YOU!" A grand smile split Haruhi's face before the rushing water finally made her lose her balance and cause her to awkwardly flip onto her stomach. "No, wait! I don't wanna go now!" The girl clawed at the slick plastic surface as her descent began, unable to find purchase due to the constant stream of water coating the slide. Haruhi let out a squawk followed by a negative, ringing wail as she disappeared from sight. The worker breathed out a heavy sigh of relief as his headache was finally gone before turning to the still stunned jinchuriki.

"You know her? God I pity you, kid. Anyways, keep your arms and legs close to your body and try not to stand up." he said almost languidly, reciting the same spiel that he was forced to do time and time again. As Naruto sat down at the edge, he could only mutter a quick positive reply prior to finally taking the plunge. Soon enough the ninja was speeding down the wet twists and turns that ended in a large splash at the finish line. The water shot out as his feet speared past the surface and buoyancy took over, letting Naruto try and gather his thoughts beneath the man-made waves.

…wow, that was a letdown. Compared to all the times he had been put into adrenaline-pumping shinobi battles, that trip earned nothing more than a lazy 'woo.' Oh well. Resurfacing back into the blazing sun, the Uzumaki shook himself like a dog before moving to walk out of the splash zone. He had only made it three steps before a pair of arms latched around his neck and a body tried to lock him from moving any farther, hanging off his back. Too bad Naruto wasn't a normal person and continued walking as if there wasn't a fellow human now adding their weight to his, even with the added boost of being in water.

"Gotcha!" Haruhi shouted in triumph as she tried to put him in a chokehold. The girl had been monitoring both the slide's exit and the steps in case her mysterious acquaintance tried to hightail it yet again. He was the strangest thing in this city so far and she'd be damned if she gave up on the trail so soon. "You're not getting away this time-holy hell! What are you made out of, concrete?"

It probably wasn't that far of an accusation. He was a teenager but his physique was that of an Olympic swimmer with buff, visible muscle. Someone his age shouldn't have possessed such musculature unless they did nothing but excessively train all day, every day. It reinforced the Suzumiya girl's opinion that the boy was a hard-pressed delinquent. Why else would he look so damn strong unless a normal day for him was getting in gang fights? "Augh! Never mind dammit! What's your name, you deviant?"

"C-can you get off? And I am not!"

"Pshaw! Like I'm gonna fall for that!" She tightened her hold and smirked when she felt him stumble. It wasn't exactly because she had some form of control over him, but truly because she was pressing against his back and it was causing the poor blond to feel _all_ of her growing teenage body. Luckily he was able to keep the goofy smile from touching his lips.

"Yeah w-well what's your name?" he eventually forced out.

"You first!"

"L-like hell!"

Bickering was all that could be heard between the resident deity and the non-resident ninja for nearly a full minute before the two finally decided on a middle ground. Well, Naruto did and it was more of him giving up. Haruhi was too set on gleaning information from him to back down from the challenge.

"It's Uzumaki Naruto, dammit!" His passenger only laughed and patted him roughly on the head, eliciting a small growl in turn.

"Suzumiya Haruhi! See, was that so hard? You should have just told me in the first place and made things easier on yourself." She giggled again at her apparent victory before pointing a finger towards a nearby ladder. "Now go over there."

"What? No. Get off and go over yourself, freeloader."

"Yeah well I want to get out for a bit and you're coming with me."

A turn of his head showed Naruto only the barest glimpse of the side of the brown-haired girl's face as he gave her a deadpan glare. "Did you ever think I might want to keep swimming?" This time he received a scoff and poke of the finger into the side of his skull for his trouble. She really had no boundaries with the personal space of others, did she? Especially when she dug her bare heels into his hips and slowly tried to guide him towards the exit by tugging on his scalp.

"That's a good one! Anyways, you're completely soaking wet and the heat won't bug you for a while at least. So…giddy up!" Seriously? …he was not a damn horse. Stupid, pretty, bossy girl that controlled his existence here in this dimension. He'd show her what for…if she wasn't his only ticket home. Once again he showed his strength by climbing out of the pool with Hauhi still firmly attached. Surprisingly she slid off of him once they were free but kept a firm grip on his shoulder just in case.

"I did not expect that…"

"Well it's busier here than the last time we met so it'd be harder for you to run." Stretching out her back, she finally stopped and spared him an impish grin. Naruto only rubbed the nape of his neck sheepishly and sighed while waiting for her to finish. The brunette's swimsuit looked like a modest red, sleeveless turtleneck top that ended a little bit below her chest with white trim and two clasps, and a skirt-like bottom. Nice…but really, it wasn't like he was actually going to speed off this time. Sheesh.

"Hey do you have any money?" That earned a confused glance from the male as he wondered why she needed to know such information. Her posture was impatient, foot tapping out a steady beat with her hip cocked to the side and arms crossed across her chest. Before long Naruto just 'tsked' after taking in the view and rolled his neck.

"Not on me, it's in my wallet. Why's it matter?"

"I'm thirsty and you're buying me a drink. You owe me for walking into me before. Think of it as a…penalty." she finished with a devious smirk. "And then we're going to have a talk, 'kay?" Naruto couldn't find the will to argue against her pure look of excitement and happiness that graced her features while mentioning the upcoming 'talk'. More like an interrogation but whatever.

He started to walk away; unsurprised she was right on his heels. "Let me just grab the key to the locker."

"Oh wow, that's odd. Your stuff is right next to mine. What a weird coincidence." Naruto only scratched his cheek as he felt Ryoko watch him walk up behind a pair of dark sunglasses, reclining in the same chair he had left her on. Yeah it was a coincidence alright. If Neji from the time of the Chunin Exams had been here in his place, the displaced jinchuriki was dead sure the Hyuuga would have had a raging hard-on for how everything seemed predetermined and all was a part of that annoying concept of 'Fate'.

"Oh…hello. Who is this, Naruto-san?" the data construct asked politely with a twinge of curiosity. She lifted her shades just enough to allow them to rest within her bangs, allowing the blond to see the twinkle of possible amusement hidden within them.

'_As if you don't already know._' Naruto thought blandly, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes. "Her name's Haruhi. Haruhi, this is Ryoko. Apparently I owe her a drink for something that was also her fault. Where's the locker key?" Ryoko pointedly ignored his outstretched hand and placed her own in front of her mouth in faux revelation.

"Oh my!" The alien quickly giggled and lowered her hand, smiling kindly at her fellow female. "Naruto-san didn't do anything inappropriate did he? He is a teenage male after all." Haruhi only waved her palm nonchalantly as both girls ignored the ninja's indignant shout of 'Oi!' Whoever this beautiful girl laying in the sun was to Naruto, she was currently only wasting their time and that was a hindrance.

"Nah, he's just interesting. Grab your wallet already and let's go before I grow old waiting on your ass."

"Keep your top on, cripes. Impatient little…" He dropped off into unintelligible muttering while grabbing for the small piece of metal, leaving Haruhi and Ryoko to their own devices. The bluenette was still currently smiling towards the newest addition and the brunette had dropped off into watching the sky with irritation as her anti-social tendencies came to the fore. If Asakura could comprehend human emotion better she would have been able to pick up on the totally awkward atmosphere. But alas, she didn't, and only merrily waved as the two finally walked off.

"I believe that went well." she said to herself before lowering her aviators, dropping back and rolling over onto her stomach. "I wonder if Naruto-san realized his temperature has finally returned to normal conditions?"

**K-TUNG**

**CLANK**

**TSSST**

Naruto took a sip of his 'Dr. Pepper' and looked at it with sudden appreciation as the taste coated his tongue and throat. Wow, that was an odd taste and yet still pretty good. It burned a bit though…was that normal? Haruhi didn't seem to care as she drained her own beverage without a care. Finishing with a sigh she threw the empty can into the nearby receptacle and nodded swiftly.

"Mmmm, that was good. So-" Placing her hands at her hips, she leaned forward into Naruto's personal space and pointed a finger nearly in his exposed blue orb. She probably would have if he hadn't tilted his head back. "-first off, last time we met you said you believe extraterrestrials exist. But have you ever met an alien?" He shook his head no even though it was a straight-up lie. With a pout, Haruhi continued on. "But you believe in them. Okay. What about an esper?"

"I have no idea what that is."

"Time traveler?"

"Nope, sorry…I could really use one though…"

"What good are you then?" she asked off-hand, blowing a stray bang away from her eyes that had come loose. "Okay…what about ninjas? And not those lame, fake ones you can meet with and learn from. I'm talking about the real deal, with awesome moves and crazy stunts."

"Now those sound pretty cool. Hell, I bet if I met one I'd ask to learn all kinds of techniques from them. And none of that chakra control stuff either, I'm talking about big techniques that'll clear out the enemy ninja in seconds!" Naruto blinked suddenly before looking down at his soda and taking another sip. "Y'know, if they're actually around us…and real."

Oh crap she was looking at him suspiciously. Why'd he always have to get excited about jutsu? Damn his innate exuberance! "Right…" She clicked her tongue with narrowed eyes, mentally filing away the term 'chakra' for later study. "Have you ever gone out looking for any sign of the supernatural?"

"Not really…when I think of supernatural that makes me think of ghosts and I hate those things. So freaky, and they're not even solid. How am I going to get them to leave if I can't physically remove them?"

"Ask them? God you're really a punk if your first reaction is violence. But anyways…" Haruhi suddenly grabbed him by both shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes, stern amber meeting blue as they stared each other down. "Does the name John Smith mean anything to you?" Her fingers tightened slightly on the muscle as she asked in all seriousness. That was a name here in the Haruhi-Dimension? Poor kid. Sadly, he didn't though and when he responded her whole body sagged in defeat. "Damn…I still can't find him…I almost feel like giving up…"

"Hey. Come on now. I don't know why you're searching for this John person but he's gotta be out there somewhere."

"Yeah…I guess…but if I remember right, when I met him he was wearing a North High uniform. I've checked the school out but there was no sign of anyone with that name. But I'll be heading there once I graduate from East Junior High. Half a year to go...maybe I'll find something new." She sighed wistfully as Naruto remained silent. He wasn't exactly sure what the girl was talking about but now he had an inkling as to why both humanoid interfaces sported North High outfits. What better way to observe someone than by going to the same academy?

"Uh…anything you want to talk about?"

"No…don't worry about it. So what about you, Naruto? Where do you go to school? Or even live? How old are you? Was that Ryoko chick your girlfriend? She's got the beauty but seems like an airhead. I've dated a bunch of guys to see if they weren't normal but none of them were actually worth the effort and I dumped them straight out. Relationships are boring…but what if it was with an alien? Would our kids be some weird hybrid? Can they even reproduce like humans?" Oh no it was happening again. Naruto merely drained the rest of his soft drink to keep from answering anymore questions he didn't have the answers to.

She was eyeing him intently again as well, scrutinizing his every move for some slip-up or giveaway. But like a heaven-sent angel Ryoko walked up to the duo in that moment with her careful gait and gave a small bow towards the brunette, confusing the girl with the action. "My apologies but it's time for Naruto-san and I to leave. It was nice to meet you, Suzumiya-san." The ninja sent her a grateful smile which was serenely returned before the alien moved away towards their shared locker.

"Well…I guess I'm leaving?" he wondered aloud, giving Haruhi an apologetic shrug. "Like Ryoko said, it was nice to meet you-er, well…see you again heh. Try not to stay out in the heat too long…hey, wait. Is it just me or does it seem like it feels cooler out?" The heat didn't feel as overbearing as it did earlier that day. In fact, it felt comfortable instead of just causing him to sweat a colossal amount which in turn made him continuously replenish his body's supply of liquids.

"It still feels normal to me. Next time we meet then you're answering _all_ of my questions, you got that?" she spoke with thinly veiled annoyance. That damn girl had to come in and break things up when they were just getting good. Seriously? All she knew at this point in time was his name and views on some of the things she loved. It was a leg up since last time but still…not cool. "And I'm going to see you again, right?"

"I'll be around. Not like I'm going anywhere." he joked. "Ah, she looks impatient. I better get going. Talk to you later, Haruhi." At that he gave her a wave and walked away, catching the shirt, shorts, and shoes flung at his head as he came close to a newly dressed Ryoko. "I bet we'll be bumping into each other all the time. Things are funny like that." Naruto added over his shoulder before giving a goodbye and walking into the changing room. The girl gave Haruhi a smile and parting wave before walking back through the female's side with a flick of her long hair.

With an exasperated sigh, the remaining female turned on her heel with a grimace and marched back towards where her towel still remained. She blew past a few boys that attempted to hit on her without a word, grabbed her items, removed her clothing from her own locker, and proceeded to change and leave the pool. There was nothing left for her there now that the blond had left, even if she hadn't originally known he would be there. She was feeling _frustrated_ now and all the joy of hanging out at the public pool had evaporated like water in the summer heat. She blamed it on that blue-haired woman that interrupted her personal time. Why, OH WHY, did she have to blow in just when the getting was good? And-

Aw crap! She didn't even think to ask if Naruto had a cell phone! How the hell was she going to get a hold of him now? Piling into a taxi, she gave the smoky interior a small sneer before telling the middle-aged balding driver the street she wanted to be dropped off at. Oh well…it shouldn't be that bad. Summer vacation would be rolling around in a month and then she'd have all the time in the world to do what she wanted.

That thought gave her a small thrill of conviction but it sadly could not mask the cloud of irritation that buzzed through her emotions. If anything, to Haruhi it felt as though the sun was no longer shining and a storm was on its way.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Thanks for the save back there. She started asking me questions again that I didn't have any answers to." Naruto walked in through the front door and gave a small stretch, moving out of the way to allow Ryoko entry into their shared home. The girl hummed in response while moving towards the living room table and gracefully seating herself at the nearest side. She began pulling items out from within the cavern of her bag and placing them on the wooden surface, throwing a conspiratory wink in his direction.

"I know, I was paying attention in case of such an emergency. It was why I created the excuse of having to leave. Now, go and place your wet clothing in the clothes hamper and wash yourself off. The pool's chlorine will make your body itch if left alone for too long."

"Really? That's stupid."

"It is as it is…I must say though, the recent heat wave seems to have finally peaked has it not?"

A blink was her response as Naruto considered her words. It was true and he _had_ noticed the drop in temperature while hanging out with (read: kidnapped by) Haruhi. But was she just making some small talk or…wait a minute. There was something off with the standard smile that was always gracing her lips. Naruto couldn't quite figure out what it was yet but as he moved closer and studied her face, he noticed one of her fingers was slowly tapping the bag filled with various pool paraphernalia.

"…you knew why I was so hot today, didn't you?" If anything her eyes softened somewhat as she bobbed her head slightly. Leave it to the alien to friggin' know every little thing about _every little thing_. The question now was whether or not she was actually going to tell him or try and make the ninja guess. He didn't want to guess. He wanted to know!

"Of course I did. The data surrounding your physical form suggested there was a whole pocket of critical-level heat slowly on the rise. Not only that, but nearly the whole region was beginning to suffer from a heat wave unbecoming of its temperate zone. I had to connect with the Data Integrated Thought Entity to discover the answer to your problem and, in essence, the problem of everyone else."

Rubbing his eyes, Naruto slid into the spot opposite from Ryoko as she spoke. So the whole place was becoming hotter than it should have, and he had the same problem on a smaller scale but recently it had returned to normal. And what did he do that day? Go to the pool. And who did he meet?

"Haruhi."

"Exactly, Naruto-san! From what both Nagato-san and I could discover, Suzumiya-san wished to go to the public pool at some point in time but Japan's pre-Summer heat apparently was not high enough yet to warrant a trip. In response to her will the temperature began to steadily increase until it reached today's point. You yourself were still plaguing her mind as well from your first encounter, and so the two ideas merged together in a way that would eventually force you to seek extreme relief to escape from the problem."

"…so she made me suffer like I was trapped in an oven…so I would have to go to that pool place and meet her?"

Ryoko actually shrugged, feeling that the human motion was appropriate in the situation. "More or less. I had to monitor her somewhat to know which day she finally decided to go and coincide our trips. Since you two were able to interact again, the 'spell' has been resolved and the atmospheric conditions of both Japan and yourself have returned to normal."

Naruto stared at her with his mouth hanging slightly open before teeth clicked together as the jaw shut. He regarded her with a steely gaze before calmly placing his hands flat on the table, palms spread wide. She was being serious? Oh, hell no. "And it didn't cross your mind that _just maybe_ you should have told me sooner instead of letting me suffer?"

"It did not seem prudent to do so until Suzumiya-san's destination was confirmed."

Naruto actually scoffed and stood, roughly grabbing his items and walking off. Before he moved too far down the hallway he stopped, grunted in annoyance, and turned sharply. "If you really want to seem more human, here's a tip. Knowing what's right and what's wrong…you follow your heart in choosing what you're going to do. Not blindly waiting until it's 'prudent' or whatever. If you were in trouble, do you think I'd just stand around and wait to help you when I saw it was the most convenient?" he asked, forming air quotes with his free fingers.

Ryoko looked at him quizzically, face tilted to the side and pupils dilated slightly in turn. Was this a possible trick question? "I believe it would depend on the situational factors whether or not you would provide me with aid. There are many unprecedented occurrences that could cause your course of action to change at any time."

Without a reply Naruto plainly walked away out of her sight. As he rounded the corner towards his room she almost missed his quiet rumble. "Wrong. You damn better believe that I'd help you regardless." The girl steepled her fingers together in thought as she pondered his words. Without a care, he would throw himself into possible danger just to make sure the Asakura interface was protected? That did not make any sense. The construct was fully capable of defending herself no matter what danger was presented to her human-shaped shell and remained positive that any damage sustained would range from light to none at all. So why would he still do so? The shinobi knew full well what the bluenette was and, while he had yet to see her placed in a clash, he had watched her skill in handling a knife and was not aware of the female's full capabilities. It just…did not make any sense to her.

Off in the distance the sound of thunder crackled and yet Ryoko paid it no mind. She was too absorbed in her thoughts until a blip on her senses pinged, alerting the girl that something in the environment had become altered and the nearby data was growing steadily corrupted. Curtains were pulled aside to allow her an unobstructed view of both the surrounding area and skyline. People on the streets were sprinting to and fro in a rush as a light drizzle pounded at their heads and lightning flashed in the distance. How odd…even with the weather being as indecisive as it always was, there had been absolutely no sign of a brewing storm.

Soon after a deep rumbling filled the air that did nothing more than cause Ryoko's eyes to thin in distaste. So **that's **what was going on. Well, there was no use standing around watching the impending state of affairs take their course. Nagato would be able to handle protecting the apartment complex…but that left the looming question;

What was the distorted space specifically centered upon?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Drips of water slowly cascaded down his bare body as Naruto stood stoically within the shower, having finished cleaning himself at least five minutes ago. Truthfully, he just didn't have the urge to get out yet and his body was mostly dry so it'd only take him a moment to towel off. But that wasn't exactly why he remained so quiet within the bathroom. It was his roommate and her inherent problem.

At least the purple-haired Yuki didn't confuse him all that much with her stoic and unemotional acts. She didn't understand the feelings that a human could express and didn't try to emulate them at all. But Ryoko, she had enough experience to know of their basic functions and when to use them and that was why Naruto felt so peeved at her at the moment. Thinking rationally was a plus, but if all people were like the humanoid aliens then everyone would be unable to truly convey what they felt.

And what of the times that extreme emotion had saved lives, or changed the outcome of a problem? If the blond jinchuriki couldn't tell what an emotion was, he would have died long ago…how tragic. Being unable to feel camaraderie or sensing the friendship he had gained with his fellow genin and teachers? Do you really think he'd have been able to fight off a traitor that tried to kill both himself and Iruka-sensei if he didn't wholeheartedly wish for his instructor to live after the man exclaimed that he believed in Naruto? Defeating a cocky asshole that nearly killed a member of his own family in front of a stadium full of people, all because the bastard pissed him off and that fueled his strength? Or even fought off an unrestrained biju to protect the home he loved? And that was only a few examples of times where his emotions allowed him to go above and beyond.

Sigh…it wasn't Ryoko's fault but her response annoyed the crap out of him.

**KRCK….K-BOOOOoooooom….**

Eh? Thunder? Since when the hell was it supposed to start raining? Shaking his head free of any pooled liquid Naruto grabbed the shower handle and opened the door. A rush of air slammed into his exposed skin and it caused the male to shiver before the surroundings made him recoil in confusion. Where…the hell…was he? This wasn't the apartment's bathroom! He spun around and twitched when there was no sight of the opened shower, instead just an expanse of concrete and a building he had visited earlier that day. He was at the pool…HE WAS AT THE POOL?

WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON?...AND WHY WAS HE SUDDENLY WEARING CLOTHES? Well that was actually a good thing but strangely enough…they were his _actual_ clothes. Like, from the Elemental Nations. Not all of them though, but close enough. He had his necklace (which he missed dearly), orange/black sport jacket, and orange pants. No headband…darn. Was he dreaming, or maybe he just fell asleep after cleaning up? A clone was quickly formed and punched the original in the face, eliciting a pained grunt and nothing else.

Okay…the force behind that should have at least awoken him somehow if he indeed had drifted off...maybe. So truly, what was going on and why did he only have part of his old outfit? Dispelling his copy, the ninja leapt up to the top of the area's structure and surveyed the area for any sign of why he was there. A soft, warm rain had coated his body and forced him to use a hand to shield his eyes from the shower, but instead of focusing on the weather he was more worried about the sky. It was grey; a normal hue for a storm, but there was an odd distortion to the coloration that seemed to make it shift from grey to white and back in the span of a second. The occasional flash of lightning was _red_ with a _purple_ outline, totally not even close to the normal white that it should have been. Not only that, but there was literally not another soul in the area. He was completely alone, not even a hint of a passing vehicle or pedestrian rushing to get out of the rain.

It was so, so weird. Naruto's second reason as to what was going on involved Ryoko, Nagato, or Haruhi. They all had freaky powers so it seemed obvious that one of them was manipulating something that caused him to wind up there. So maybe all he had to do was wait it all out? It seemed like a good idea until a deep, low moan wafted through the air that raised the hairs on the back of his neck. Someone was here and possibly hurt?

…oooooooooooooooooooh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit…

That…was totally not a person. And the jinchuriki had no idea if they were hurt but the fleeting thought crashed through his mind that there was the possibility of _him_ being hurt instead. The moaner was a colossal see-through beast, as blue as visible chakra but shimmering like ethereal water. It was humanoid in shape, with exceedingly long arms and stubby legs. It's 'face', if the thing actually possessed one on its head, was composed of nothing more than three red dots of various large sizes.

And it was staring.

Right.

At.

Him.

With a garbled screech the monster raised a log-like arm high into the sky before swinging it down like a massive club. A burst of chakra allowed Naruto to explode away from the rooftop before he was crushed underneath the hammer blow. The building didn't stand a chance against the attack and instantly buckled like a house of cards. Why, oh why, was he always the one being put up against an opponent that was X amount of times bigger than himself? Gah! The creature continued to demolish the pool building before it turned and grabbed the slide, ripping it free and twisting it into a hunk of useless broken plastic. The ball was tossed over its shoulder before the giant turned its sights on the in-ground pool and attempted to stomp it into oblivion.

Naruto watched on as he was seemingly forgotten. The rain had intensified as the monster caused major collateral damage but there was a chill in his bones that defied the warmth his body was receiving from the rain. Reddish orbs centered on the boy's miniscule form as the last tile was smashed into dust and the pool's capacity continued to overflow with excess liquid. Naruto's 'guest' seemed to rumble out a question but it was all gibberish. Yelling to not be drowned out by the pouring raindrops, the soaking blond could only reply in the basest of ways.

"What the hell are you?"

Another moan as it took a step forward, as though it both heard and answered him.

"W-well, why the hell am I here and why did you just destroy everything?"

It grumbled deeply, a great rolling bass that grew louder and louder before both arms were drawn high above its head and brought down to crush the boy under its weight. Naruto had to scramble out of its path and yet was still buffeted by the winds and dust created by the downward blow that sent him tumbling away. Through the inertia he managed to somehow flip to his feet, skidding through the rubble despite his feet still being bare. The pain barely registered in his senses as he exhaled sharply, clenching a fist tightly in front of his face as he drew himself up to his full height.

"So you want to fight? I'll give you a goddamn fight! Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Ten clones appeared in puffs of smoke and an application of chakra, even as Naruto held out a hand and threw it to the side. "Five of you, keep it busy! I want to know what happens if I get too close to this glowing freak!"

"Right, Boss!"

The group split down the middle as half of them charged the great colossus, the closest of the shadow clones jumping high into the air and drillings its fist into the creature's thigh. Not one second later its scream was abruptly cut off as the clone dispelled due to the high current of energy that flashed through its fragile body structure. Every remaining Naruto instantly knew that physical touches were now a no-no thanks to the uploading of the doppelganger's informative memories.

The last four Naruto's used each other to form a rasengan in their hands and rush down the supernatural entity. If fists couldn't damage it then the swirling orb of chakra was pretty much his last bet. He had no ninja weapons or items on his person and it was times like this that he truly wished he knew some actual combat techniques. There had to have been wind-style ninjutsu in the Konoha library, or one of the older jounins could have shown him at least something useful to use. Hell, even Jiraiya could have done something once he got back from traveling…now that the boy's control was much, much better. It was a moot point though and the blond had to make do with what he had.

The rasengans were forced into the creature's body and scraped away at its outer skin before the jutsus overloaded and ripped apart its legs. The large, swirled divots in its limbs looked painful and drew out a bunch of roars and blind swings of its arms and legs, but did nothing to compromise the structure of its walking ability. The Uzumaki felt his eye twitch as the info flooded his mind and rubbed a finger underneath his nose, knowing exactly what he had to do now. Besides, there wasn't exactly much left in his arsenal.

"Keep it busy for a moment." Three of his copies darted away as the two remaining held out their hands. Naruto simply nodded and lifted his own, chuckling softly at the irony. "This is gonna rip my arm up again…"

"Oh, you'll heal you big baby."

"It's either that or get smushed to death by a raging…whatever the hell that is." The last clone grunted after its snarky comment as it helped its creator form a new rasengan. The energy turned and turned, growing in strength and speed while helping to keep the ball as compact as possible. A new flood of energy was forced into the sphere and nearly tore it apart before the two finally decided to mesh and allow it to grow and grow. Soon Naruto had to raise the rasengan above his head as the influx of wind chakra changed the very nature of the attack and caused it to glow a soft blue with the constant accompanied screech of loud bells. Four points of pure energy extended from its center and ringed the middle, taking the shape of a curved shuriken. The amount of energy in the attack was enough to swiftly annihilate a nearly immortal S-ranked shinobi in one hit…so it would _have_ to damage or kill this thing.

As soon as the rasenshuriken was complete, the two clones used their remaining dredges of energy to join their brothers in the ambush, allowing the true Naruto to ready himself for the upcoming backlash. Feet padded against the wet earth as the misplaced male moved as fast as he could, jumping off the ruined building so he could at least jump up to chest level of the blue monster. As it continued to swing its arms, clone after clone was slowly destroyed before it realized there was now only one thing left to smash. Too bad there was no time left to strike.

"Take this! Fuuton: Rasenshuriken!" The technique reared back before being pushed directly into the dead center of the giant's body. There was some initial resistance as Naruto did his best to force the wind technique inside and it felt like he was actually succeeding when everything finally combusted. The rasenshuriken imploded on itself, releasing the charge held within and along with it many, many tiny blades that were too numerous to count. They cut deep within his own arm but that just fueled his desire to see this thing destroyed.

After what seemed like ages Naruto was forcefully expelled away from the impact point and hit the ground hard in a roll. The attack itself had grown into a large sphere that continued to assault the alien-like attacker until finally dying off and revealing that it had, indeed, worked like it should have. Most of the thing's middle half was missing and in tatters, causing it to wobble in place before losing consistency and falling to the ground like a cut-up blob. His arm felt like it was on fire inside his very bones but Naruto grinned nonetheless; there was no way in hell it was getting up again.

"Gotcha…" he coughed, slowly sitting up while clutching the near-destroyed limb to his chest. No more enemies, at least none that he was aware of, and nothing more to demolish (unless he himself still counted) so maybe he could just get the hell out of here before things possibly returned to normal and he was found in the tattered remains of the public pool.

A great crack issued across the sky as it seemed to split directly in two, accompanied by the sound of glass shattering under heavy duress. Naruto had to rub at his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating because the building, slide, and pool itself were whole. As if they had never been destroyed in the first place. The blue beast was missing as well and…hell, the whole place looked like it should have before he inexplicably appeared there. Off in the distance he could hear the sounds of horns honking and car engines, further giving the shinobi some idea that everything was back to normal.

So did he just go through some massive freakout and bout of delirium? Because he couldn't exactly think of any other way these events could have happened. In fact, he was waiting for one of his odd acquaintances to pop out of nowhere and be like, 'what the hell did you do?' The stiff throbbing in his arm proved he at least had used his most powerful attack…or had banged it pretty damn hard.

The drops of rain padding against his head suddenly cut off as something put itself between the matted blond locks and the still present downpour. Confused, Naruto blinked a few times before tilting his head back to see what was up. An umbrella had been placed above his head and he followed the arm holding it up, having to twist in his spot to get the full picture. Was it Ryoko, coming to tell him off and realizing he was gone?

…her arm sure looked masculine all of a sudden.

"Are you alright?" Definitely masculine. Ryoko's voice was much more attractive than that. Wiping the water away from his eyes to allow himself to see better, the blond could make out a male around his age looking at him with a warm expression, charming smile, and eyes closed to complete the look as he stood underneath his own umbrella. He wore a pair of tan shorts, sandals, and an open Hawaiian shirt with a white shirt underneath, with messy brown hair down to his chin that actually looked to have been painstakingly cultured to look that way. All in all, the new guy sort of looked like a pretty boy.

"Yeah…I think so. Arm's banged up though…I, uh, slipped and hit it on the ground."

The newcomer just laughed lightly. "Yes, you have to watch out for even simple accidents in inclement weather. Here, use this umbrella for now. As you can see I have my own. I suppose that's what happens when you're not wearing shoes?"

"Could be." Naruto agreed, unzipping his jacket and setting his arm to rest in the opening like a makeshift sling. "I wasn't, y'know, expecting it to start raining so suddenly."

"Indeed. But then again we both know you injured your arm fighting that…I suppose you could call it nothing more than a large collection of frustration." His smiling teeth dropped somewhat as his eyes cracked open with a serious glint, revealing themselves to be a dark brown. "I arrived just in time to witness the tail end of your battle. I must say it was quite thrilling to see such inventive powers used to take down a Shinjin. And by yourself no less! Although…I suppose you truly weren't alone thanks to those peculiar copies of yourself, hmmm?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, kid. You sure that _you_ weren't the one that slipped? Might have hit your head and you don't remember."

"Of course not, I'm not clumsy enough to do such a thing." The brunet opened his arm wide and gestured to their surroundings. That was quickly followed by him crossing his left arm over his chest and using it to prop up the limb still holding the umbrella. "Aren't you confused as to why this place is suddenly whole again? Why it no longer looks like an anomalous version of what it should? Why the creature you fought is now missing? You have plenty of questions and if you come with me, the organization that I belong to can help provide you with the answers you seek. What do you say?" he finished, finally extending his hand forward in a friendly gesture.

"I'd say you're crazy. But…for a minute, let's just say I'm curious as to what you're telling me. Something crazy happened here and I want to know what." Naruto kept his eyes glued to the still waiting palm and slowly grasped it with his uninjured hand. He jerked the boy towards him with a small application of strength, pulling him within whispering distance as he leaned in towards the mysterious male's ear. "Make no mistake; even hurt I can still defend myself easily so no funny business got it? I don't know who you are and I sure as hell don't trust you with the whole secrecy thing you got going on. I'm just doing this for myself." he growled with a quick flex of his hand muscles. The boy just pulled back and smiled again, genuinely shaking Naruto's hand despite the bone-crushing grip in confirmation before releasing it.

"Of course. I hold no malicious intent towards you. Like I already implied, I wish to help you. Now then, may I ask your name or should I simply call you 'deviant'?" If that was a joke, it wasn't very funny and all it did was remind the blond of Haruhi and her labeling of him with that stupid nickname a few hours ago. The boy held no such qualms though and actually chuckled at his own words. All it did for Naruto was get him to roll his eyes at how lame it actually was.

"You can call me Uzumaki Naruto."

"Very well, Uzumaki-san. My name is Koizumi Itsuki. It's a pleasure to meet you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: Okay, so I had to do some research on the timeline and if you're confused by the 'Year -1' at the top of the page, it's how the wiki labeled it. The three years before Haruhi formed the SOS Brigade were called negative years, and this story begins half a year before the start of canon. Haruhi's in her last year of middle school, Nagato is still watching over the asleep, time-traveled Kyon and Mikuru, and Asakura is, in a sense, still growing into the near perfect replica she was in the series. _

_And yes, I know about the crazy ban going on in the site. I have to say it really, really, really fucking sucks because there goes a whole bunch of storyline for my stories. The actual lemons I had planned, flashbacks, the extremely dark and possibly violent Trigon arc in my Naruto/TT crossover…sucks so much._

_BUT DON'T WORRY! I made an account over at yourfanfiction and while I have yet to transfer anything over, I will when I have more time. Here will have the 'safer versions' with less super violence and no actual graphic sex while yourfanfiction will contain the uncensored versions. My name is still Gavedin and so far I only have up the first chapter of this story…which I hope to change sometime._

_On another note, I'd like to express two stories that I've been reading lately that are currently my most waited on for the email to show up in my inbox. __**My Little Shinobi: Friendship is Eternal**__ by __**GespenstKAF**__ and __**A New World, The Story of a Lost Shinobi**__ by __**Lanky Nathan**__. The first is obviously a Naruto/My Little Pony crossover and, while I'm not exactly a 'brony', I think the show is just fine and hold no grudge against those that watch it and this story makes it rather actiony. It takes place a little before the canon first episode and expands on a few of the background characters, while simultaneously adding much more to the actual story. Plus Naruto remains a human, which is a plus for me, and isn't that much of a huge change._

_As for the second one, it's probably my favorite Naruto/Fairy Tail crossover besides the ones that __**NeonZangetsu**__ cranks out which are just fun to read anyways despite jumping all over with things. He keeps everyone quite in character except for a slightly more perverted Naruto and hey, he makes it so it's open-ended who Naruto could wind up with instead of just 'hey I just met you, instant love'. I gotta say, I enjoy seeing these when I log into my email and the updates are there._

_Phew…okay, I got a paper to write now that I've procrastinated long enough to finish this. __**You're welcome.**__ Later, y'all._


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: You've seen that this story involves Naruto and Haruhi Suzumiya. Sorry, but I **do not** own them.

Chapter 3:

Koizumi Itsuki was creepy. That's all Naruto had to say about his newest 'acquaintance'. At least the constant smiling supplied by his housemate was cute. But as Naruto sat across from the brown-haired pretty boy inside of a really long car that only confused him by its length, the shinobi was growing frustrated by the male's upturned lips. After their first meeting back at the pool, Koizumi had convinced him into entering the 'limo' so the two of them could speak privately. He had been given a sling and roll of white fabric to fix up his damaged arm from the vehicle's medical kit.

What he wanted was a goddamn towel.

As drips of rainwater continued to fall from his hair, his fellow male turned from looking out the car's tinted window and motioned towards the small refrigerator set near their legs. "May I offer you something to drink? We have bottled water and soft drinks…oh! I believe there is some wine as well...but I suppose it wouldn't be lawful at the moment for us to drink any alcohol." The thrum of the engine starting up sent miniature vibrations soaring through his legs. Looked like it was going to be a mobile conversation between the two of them. The other male's attempts at hospitality were falling flat and Naruto was more interested in the fact they were moving.

"Can we just get on with this?"

"Very well then." Koizumi's face slowly fell into something serious as he placed his folded hands upon his lap, one leg crossed over the other. If he felt anything at the offending tone he hid it well. "This will be a bit to take in but I believe you can handle it. I'll simply start with this; we know that you are more than a normal person. We found you lying naked within a crater on the outskirts of the town after pinpointing a large burst of unexplained energy that our sensors picked up. After collecting you, our organization placed you within a business-owned hospital to recover and hopefully explain the anomaly and your strange appearance here upon waking."

The fact Koizumi probably saw him nude aside, things were sounding rather similar to what Nagato and Asakura had already explained to him. "So that's why I was in that place. I had no idea what was going on so I just decided to escape."

"Yes, we noticed." The brunette replied with a hint of mirth, eyes still closed in faux-enthusiasm. "One of our employees was reported to have been in two places at one time. Mind explaining that to me?"

"Trade secret." he supplied quickly. "So what, does this mean your 'organization'," Naruto made quotes with his good arm. "-is a bunch of data alien whatevers as well?"

Koizumi actually seemed surprised at that, his brown irises once again sliding into view as he stared at the blond. "You have been in touch with members of the Data Integrated Thought Entity?" A hesitant nod. "Then this will actually makes things easier to explain. You know of Suzumiya Haruhi as well? It cuts down on what I have to tell you then. I thank you for making this so much easier to sort out."

"Yeah yeah. She's a god or something and I was supposedly called here because she wanted to meet someone like me. We've even run into each other a few times…the last one being today at the pool."

"Whereas you were later drawn into a closed space and forced to fight against a Celestial." Naruto nodded again seeing as now they were pretty much caught up on current events. Itsuki gestured with his hands before crossing them over his chest. "I believe we should _fully_ introduce ourselves this time. I shall go first as a show of goodwill; Koizumi Itsuki, an esper and one tasked with watching Suzumiya-san to make sure she does not do anything drastic with her powers."

"Wait, you **watch** her? Like all the time? That's not right at all, man."

He just shrugged with his shoulder. "I would argue but it is not that far from the truth. We allow her privacy of course. I myself would be irked to know I was under constant surveillance even during times that should be personal. Now please: your turn."

The palm of a hand wiped against Naruto's brow as he tried to think of any consequences that could be drawn by giving away too much information. It looked like it wouldn't hurt to say more than the basics…but Koizumi's aura didn't seem as welcoming as his roommate's and purple-haired acquaintance's. It was more oppressive than the two girls'.

"Uzumaki Naruto. The greatest shinobi around and not from this world apparently. Also, what in the hell is an esper?"

Chuckles emanated from the pretty-boy at how bluntly Naruto seemed to speak. Short and to the point but he supposed it worked for him. Nothing like Koizumi and his grand gestures and winding explanations. 'Greatest shinobi around', eh? That title likely rang true. "An esper is nothing more than a human with special abilities. The agency I belong to is comprised completely of our kind and we are tasked with keeping Suzumiya-san's own powers in check. We haven't always been like this though…we all gained our skills three years ago and immediately knew of our greater responsibilities." Seeing the ninja's confusion, the male chuckled again. "Perhaps a talk for another time."

"Oh…kay?"

"Espers cannot always access their powers though. Only during times of overlapping realities brought on by Suzumiya's stress and unstable emotions. Once we enter this 'other space' such as you had visited today, then can we go all out and transform to compensate for the stress. We are tasked with subduing the large creatures there known as Shinjin and cause the fake reality to collapse in on itself, returning the world to how it originally was. Otherwise the most we can do is be capable of having heightened senses, or as we call it here, extra-sensory perception."

"But I'm not an esper. Why was I taken to that new reality?" So much was happening, way more complicated than anything back in the Elemental Nations. Train, get stronger, beat your enemies, repeat. Here it was waaaaaay too technical.

"These newer realities are chaotic and unstable. By Suzumiya Haruhi's will she is inadvertently wishing for the world to change and contour to her wants. The creatures are there to destroy everything and if they succeeded, the newer reality would overtake the one we are living in and immediately change our truth as we know it. For better or for worse we cannot allow that to ever happen."

"That sounds rough."

"Perhaps…" The brunet's fingers were now clasped in front of his face as he pondered. "I retract what I said before about leaving some topics for later; firstly, do you know when the world was believed to have been created?" This time Naruto shook his head, growing more curious by the second. "Many would theorize it as the 'Big Bang', a massive explosion that originally began in space and its ensuing chaos created the stars and planets and so on. But what if I were to tell you that we believe the world began only three years ago?"

"With how much more advanced you all are compared to my home village that's been around for more than one hundred years? I'd say you're crazy, buddy."

"Crazy to some, enlightened to others. I gained my powers and believed wholeheartedly that something had gone wrong in my head. The agency soon came to my rescue and I learned just as you are now. Do you know of the Anthropic Principle? It's a reverse theory that, in essence, explains that our world exists because we humans have been observing space and the whole world. Simply, if mankind had not existed then neither would anything else. By adding our young deity into the mix, it becomes as such; the universe exists because man exists. And mankind exists…"

"Because of Haruhi?"

"This world is merely the dream of a single girl. Poetic, is it not? Such as how a lucid dream allows you control over your dreamscape, we believe it is the same for Suzumiya. You have experienced her want for change firsthand."

"You never explained why I was taken into this closed space today."

"Patience my friend. Prior information needs to be given first. You have had an impact on Suzumiya Haruhi, would you say? Did anything happen today that would cause her to grow annoyed or angered?" Naruto blinked as his mind drifted back. The two were hanging out and she seemed to be having a good time, even when her questioning of him turned up fruitless. But she seemed put off when Ryoko appeared…or maybe he was only imaging that.

"She was questioning me and looked happy but I had to leave before anything else happened."

"…I see now. Like a snowball rolling down a hill, gaining strength as it continues to accelerate. We discovered that she departed from the pool almost immediately after being seen with a blond-haired male, ergo you." Koizumi jabbed his fingers towards the ninja. "Closed space began to crop up sometime after that which coincided with the change in the weather. She grew frustrated for an unknown reason and now I see that you were the source. We know not what the world would have become had the realities fully overlapped but you were drawn in because Suzumiya _wanted_ you to be there. The new world…whether or not anyone else would survive is questionable, or perhaps our personalities or appearances would have been altered. But you…you would have remained the same. And so would the one who wanted you to remain."

"Then why the hell did I screw my arm up killing the thing that tried to kill me?" For added effect he pointed towards his injury, now bandaged (not that well) and resting against his chest. "If she wanted me around then what's the point of sticking me at ground zero?"

"That…I do not have an answer for. But you annoyed her, yes? Maybe it was simply a stress relief for walking out on her before your conversation could be concluded?" The blond ran a hand through his somewhat dried hair and sighed. Ryoko had merely saved him from the questionnaire that was turning really, really strange there at the end. Haruhi had acted put-off by the other pretty girl too…so why didn't the bluenette show up in the closed space either to act as a punching bag? Too many questions, too many answers that were way over his head at this point in time.

So he shrugged.

Koizumi laughed, reverting back to his jovial fox-smile and squinted eyes.

Dammit that was so eerie. Why did he keep doing that? "I must say this has been rather enlightening but I'm saddened to tell you our conversation must come to an end. However I believe it would be prudent if we stayed in touch."

"Why, you want to hire me for a job or something?" It would be somewhat nostalgic to go out on a mission here in Japan. Better than sitting around on his ass, twiddling his thumbs while waiting for a boon to appear and help him find a way to return home. His forays with Haruhi hadn't been very effective so putting his mind on something else could be therapeutic.

"No, no. Nothing of that sort. But it would pay to be friends with a ninja of all things, yes?" Naruto only rolled his eyes and shrugged. Sure, why not. He was a ninja, there were aliens, Koizumi was psychic, and there was even a god in the mix. You'd have to take things at face value unless you wanted your mind to overload. "Your exploits have been witnessed but perhaps if you prove yourself in the future we may call on your services." So was that a maybe? Naruto took it as a veiled 'yes' anyways. The limousine slowly rolled to a stop in that moment and shifted into park, as if the chauffeur had been waiting for the cue from the esper in the back seat. The blond peeked out through the dark window covered in rain runoff to try and discover where they were only to see his apartment complex looming off in the near distance. As his face turned back around Itsuki once again bore witness to the stern and serious expression of the boy he had only met a short while ago. It was usually unheard of to see a teenager with such a deadly serious look upon their face but then again, neither of them were ordinary enough to warrant that labeling.

"Have you been following me?" Naruto asked as his eyes flashed threateningly.

"Despite how the situation looks, the Organization only had a passing interest in you before Uzumaki-san. That's changed at this point but I promise you that none of our agents have shadowed your movements. However you have been noticed both entering and exiting this particular domicile on more than one occasion when a member happened to be passing by and so we merely guessed on either you or someone you know residing here."

Naruto just watched the other boy carefully, wondering whether or not the words spilling past his lips were lies or not. He had no way of finding out the truth short of using a Yamanaka mind technique and sadly, he couldn't do that even if they both did share the same hair and eye color. The biju container just waved his hand nonchalantly and made to open the door. "Yeah, close enough I guess. Thanks for the ride."

"Take care, Uzumaki Naruto." The blond moved his hand again as he stepped out onto the cement with a wet footstep, clicking his tongue as his sole landed in a puddle. Lovely. Repressing a groan as the rain continued to hit his body Naruto just nodded goodbye and walked inside of the bright apartment building while ignoring the outside intercom. Sharp ears picked up on the wet squeal of tires as the limousine drove away and allowed him to finally collect his thoughts in peace. More and more information was discovered every week it seemed…and none of it posed a solution to his predicament. In fact things just kept growing more and more difficult. His jumbled thoughts even caused his fingers to input the wrong code a few times to open the door for access to the main foyer. The blue-eyed male's concentration was elsewhere.

Convincing a deity that ninjas should remain in their homeland was going to be quite the monumental task.

The elevator ride back up to the shared dwelling never seemed longer than it did that day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The soft ding of the transport alerted the scruffy blond that he could step out and so he did, dripping the occasional water droplet onto the tiles as he moved down the hall. The small jaunt from the vehicle to the apartment door had gotten him wet all over again. Reaching for the handle he suddenly paused as a thought struck him and Naruto sighed. No keys…great. Forced to stand at the room's intercom the blond had to wait for his roommate's lilting voice to issue forth in a minor burst of static.

"_Hello?_"

"Just open the door please."

"_One moment~_." Ryoko's cheerful voice ended in a melodic giggle as the speaker shut off with a click. The nearby door swung open, revealing the pretty bluenette who took in his disheveled state and new clothes in the blink of an eye before circling him like a giddy child and pushing him into the room. "I was curious as to where you had disappeared to. Was this Suzumiya-san-related?"

"Yeah...? I was dragged into some alternate world bubble thingy and forced to fight a glowing giant that tried to smash me into a pancake."

"Is that the reason as to why your arm appears injured?" Naruto only glanced down a moment before nodding gruffly in his steps.

"Yup. I had to kill that damn thing with my strongest technique…but the backlash is a bitch."

He stumbled as Ryoko's hands left his backside. Recovering, the ninja turned only to witness something he never thought possible; Asakura looking genuinely frazzled at his declaration. Arms now resting at her sides, mouth left somewhat open enough to reveal her tongue and teeth, and eyes widened a few smidgens more than normal.

"You were able to defeat a Celestial? A mere human?"

"I thought we've made it clear than I'm not a _normal_ person."

The humanoid's blue irises flickered slightly as she recovered. "Yes, yes…still, it is rather fascinating to hear. Only espers are known to possess the raw potential to subdue a Shinjin. Besides us data constructs, of course." Her cheer had fully returned by the time girl slid into her spot at the room's table. Naruto slowly followed, unaware of the odd gleam that had entered her eyes as once again her vision took to roaming over his body. It seemed…rather unsettling.

"So…I guess I'll go wash up. Again." Ryoko just smiled as he looked at her, the female's features appearing normal to Naruto as she nodded away. Even with her curiosity the blond was unable to detect anything different with her merry demeanor. The gal had viewed firsthand that the Uzumaki possessed powers normal people did not have but this…this was rather breathtaking. No wonder 'God' was so interested in him. Different reasons than Ryoko obviously but yeah. But the blue-haired girl had discovered him foremost in the time he had been a part of their reality. She felt as though, in such a skewed sense of ownership, she would have to claim him first before any others. Oh, to have her own underling!

Naruto appeared sometime later in a pair of fresh, non-wet clothing while still holding his arm gingerly. "Do we even have any medical tape?" His roommate just shook her head before motioning for him to join her at the table. He complied, sliding into his own spot with a grunt. Ryoko wouldn't have any of that though and pushed around to his side and observing his injury with a critical eye.

"I have never had any need for it. And any wounds you sustained always healed at an incredible rate before aid was needed. Just another oddity you possess I suppose. May I?" she finished, lightly trailing her pale fingertips mere millimeters above his skin and causing him to spasm at the feather-light tickle. He nodded painfully regardless and she placed his limb in her lap, legs tucked underneath her as she continued her examination. Naruto's arm was slowly rotated as if it were on a spit while Ryoko continued to watch and engage him in conversation. "I am curious; where did you come about those clothes?"

As if on cue to strengthen her question he flinched at a wave of pain, causing his much-missed jeweled necklace to swing out in an arc. The male still looked down first before realizing she had meant his orange shinobi ensemble. "Oh. Yeah. I don't know. I walked out of the shower and suddenly I'm outside and it's storming. I'm in my old jacket, pants, and necklace too."

"Intriguing." He hissed as Ryoko forced his wrist to bobble up and down.

"Ow! Fuck! Be careful!"

The bluenette continued her observation, nonplussed by his language, before finally settling his arm fully upon her thighs and lightly placing her own hands on top of it. "There are currently three million, six hundred fifty-nine thousand, four hundred and three microscopic lacerations cut into your skin, muscle, and even bone. Your nervous system is shredded beyond normal means of restoration but the damage is slowly repairing itself at a sluggish pace. Your…'unique' fortitude is keeping your arm from simply falling apart like a hunk of diced meat. Why use such an attack if it is so detrimental to your health?"

Bright blue eyes dimmed somewhat as Naruto drifted off into thought. He voice echoed softly when he finally found the words to express,the humanoid to watching him silently in turn. "Sometimes…to get to your goal, you have to sacrifice."

"Is that something you have done on more than one occasion?"

"I guess."

Asakura smiled at his aloof answer as she was seemingly ingrained to do, tilting her head to look at the ninja and making him realize with a bit of a flush that the two were actually rather close. Like, really close. With his arm still imprisoned against her lap it had Naruto and Ryoko nearly being forced on top of each other. Her attractive face was in close proximity to his own and their shoulders were rubbing together, and he could even smell some nice-smelling scent wafting off of her that was pleasing to his nose. Or maybe it was perfume. Did her kind even need to wash up? She wasn't pushing him away though; in fact it seemed more like she was completely content with the contact.

That just confused him even more.

How could she enjoy it if her own feelings were null and void?

"Is something the matter, Naruto-san?" He felt a small shock in his chest as he watched her pink lips-so near and coated in some sort of gloss- form those words teasingly. Naruto swallowed quietly. There was no way Ryoko didn't know what she was doing. But...did she truly?

"N-no." Good. His embarrassed stutter was minuscule...in his own personal opinion.

"Would you mind if I helped to speed up your recovery?"

"Really? You could?" His embarrassment momentarily forgotten, the blond simply had to ask. "How?"

"I can administer nanomachines that would travel throughout your body and regulate the damages, increasing the rate of cell mitosis and augmenting your already impressive recovery rate."

"…okay, slower this time."

With a delicate giggle the alien reached up and lightly poked the tip of his nose. Ryoko seemed to be acting like she always did but…there was just something unusual that he couldn't quite pinpoint. The blue-eyed girl was still dominating his attention though and forced his musings back to the here and now. "I would give you tiny, tiny little robots that would only remain long enough to fix up your arm." To add emphasis she placed her thumb and forefinger close to each other with barely any space between the skin.

"…oh…it won't hurt will it?"

"You'll feel a momentarily minor prick of pain. Now stay still please." She guided him a bit closer as his arm was raised up to eye level. Wetting her lips, Naruto watched in silent awe as the humanoid softly closed her eyes and placed her mouth around his skin to bite down with just enough pressure to puncture the forearm with her canines. The wet feeling coincided with two small jabs that hurt a hell of a lot more than it should have thanks to his overloaded nerves but the sheer shock of what she was doing kept him from jerking away. He thought she meant there might be a cream, needle, or even some weird alien mumbo-jumbo technique but **this**? Her soft lips were almost tenderly pressed against him and when she finally retracted her teeth and pulled away, all that remained were two small holes in his skin devoid of any bloodstains.

Almost immediately the burning in his arm grew muted and he looked at her with wide eyes. Her trademark smile had become rather infectious though and soon enough he was grinning right back at her. "Oh wow, that's…that's really working fast. The pain's already starting to go away."

"Of course it would. I was the one to help you, was I not?" The grip on Naruto's arm was finally released and he rotated it a few times, wondering if this is what things would have been like if he never had Kyuubi's chakra to fix his boo-boos. Taking long periods of time to mend? Screw that. Even the puncture wounds had sealed up already but from his own ability or these nano-whatchits, he didn't care.

"Thanks, Ryoko-chan. It feels a lot better than before."

"It was no problem."

"Yea-yeah…" The boy had to stifle a yawn as he was suddenly overcome with a sense of profound vertigo. His eyelids were growing heavier by the second and his movements were turning sluggish, like pounds and pounds of pressure were now slowing him down. Unable to stop himself he slumped against his fellow sitter and tried to push off but his hands fumbled awkwardly against her form. '_What the hell is this?_'

"Naruto-san, are you alright?" Asakura said in concern, directing his fingers to her opposite shoulder and keeping him steady. He was able to shake his head and mumble out a few choice words on his current status that had the bluenette helping him to his feet and towards his room with a nod. "It's only a side-effect of the treatment then. I was unsure how exactly your body would react to such concentrated action against your nervous system and so a tranquilizer was added to placate your pain. You will be perfectly fine once you wake up."

Sheets were drawn and he was pulled into his bedding, senses nearly smothered completely as his mind continued to drop off into dreamland. The last blurry sight he made out was of his 'doctor' leaning over his face to look directly into his lidded eyes, grin back in place as she blocked out his fading vision with her own dark blue orbs. Breath tickled at his cheeks as she spoke before finally he drifted off to sleep, barely registering her parting sentences and the ominous ring that tinged them.

"Pleasant dreams. Oh, and do make sure to assimilate fully. I would hate to have to try something else that would be more...invasive."

Throughout Uzumaki Naruto's bloodstream, droves upon droves of nanoscopic metal spheres pushed themselves through the viscous red liquid and attached themselves to the small crimson disks carrying oxygen to vital body parts. Each released a pressurized burst that mingled with the bloodstream and collected in the upper right quadrant of his body where the most injury had taken place. The sedative/healing serum began to do its job exactly as it was created for. Deadened and fractured nerves were literally copied in their whole state and reproduced before the missing portions were seamlessly welded into place, allowing the bioelectricity to continue along the synapses without sparking or causing any anguish. Plus the cuts were finally mending as it miraculously worked alongside the fox's energy without rejection.

But that wasn't all.

Well after the spray had done its job and dissipated, the husks still joined to the blood cells retracted their hold and literally began to melt away in an unnoticed sheen. The silverish alloy grew clearer and clearer before exploding into fragments of colorful data packets that soon faded from view. If anyone were to scan his body at a molecular level nothing suspicious would ever show up. Her work was careful, precise, and fully low-key. Even Nagato and her painstaking attention to detail would have had a difficult time searching for the problem unless she knew exactly what Ryoko had done.

Unknown to both recipient _and_ donor, the injection's unintended second function would not truly come into play for quite some time. Its original masked purpose to give the alien her own personal connection with the blond and allow her some sway over his consciousness was cementing itself with ease. While she couldn't actively control his actions or dive into his memories to plant false information, any suggestion from Ryoko would one-up anyone else's advice. What was it he had said in a nutshell? _Sacrifice was needed in order to gain what you wanted_. Naruto never mentioned that it had to be self-sacrificing. His sleep was all a part of her plan to change up the events and see what new outcomes she could sow.

That wasn't to say though that the injected data wouldn't begin to evolve over its dormancy due to an irregular anomaly in the virtual DNA strands.

Stranger things had happened.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Nagato Yuki looked up from the small book held firmly by her dainty hands. Data emergence was occurring and shifting around the confines of an elevated area a few floors from her own…i.e., a miniature closed space had assembled itself in the location of one Uzumaki Naruto's bedroom. The petite girl tilted her head just enough to stare at her own bedroom for but a moment before returning to the papery pages in front of her glasses-clad eyes. Whatever her fellow extraterrestrial had in mind for creating her own personal reality, it was not any of Nagato's concern.

Ryoko may have been her backup unit but the other alien girl had her own 'life' to live. If she needed to freeze time/space within a restricted amount of room, then it was her own decision to make. Just as Yuki had done with her own two currents guests 'sleeping' within her apartment yet completely inactive to the rest of the world. Upon lifting the limitation on her bedroom the pair would eventually wake up as if they had only been asleep for a day.

Except the one day actually panned out to a span of three years.

The time-travelers needed to skip back to their own time-frame years ago and it was the only way Nagato had been able to aid them in escaping their loop predicament. Yes, it caused her to be unable to leave her own home. Yes, she had been forced to constantly monitor their statuses in case of irregularity. Yuki knew that sitting around for three years without any divergence would drive anyone insane but despite that she would not complain. It did not bother her.

She had her books and the occasional visitation. The human concept of boredom held no significance towards her and the purplenette saw no logical reason to try and change that. Interaction was still a foreign notion and while it mattered not whether or not there was someone there to intermingle with, the small female had noticed something sticking in her memory banks that needed decryption.

Time increased its pace when, as the humans seemed to say, there were others around to 'hang out' with. But what caused this dilation of the instance? It was…peculiar and actually drew out a microscopic downturn of her lips, literally the most emotion Nagato had ever shown in her short span of 'living'.

"Irrelevant." she said softly before the moment passed and the thoughts purged from her systems. Locked away into a less important space of recollection, the alien's eyes flickered lightly as they once again focused upon the book in front of her. There was no current need to give it a second glance.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Warmth_. He was so warm and felt no urge to move out from his spot. Nice and comfy. His nose was itchy though. Dammit. **Scrtch-scrtch. **Turn over and spread out. Sigh. Still warm but ears were beginning to grow cold. Why was it chilly? It was Summer. Great, the window must be open and letting in a breeze. Sigh again.

Groggy, Naruto rose up from underneath his covers and yawned widely, stretching out his spine and licking his somewhat dry lips. Bits and pieces of what had taken place were slowly returning to him as he lazily looked about his room. Contrary to what he believed the curtains were actually drawn tightly, adding a shadowy ambiance to his living quarters. He couldn't exactly hear anything like wind slipping in through an unlocked window and decided to give it the benefit of the doubt. The drapes would no doubt be billowing no matter how softly the air draft was.

A heavier comforter had been placed over him in his slumber which he guessed explained that lovely heat from before. But why was it there? Did Ryoko's vaccine give him the shivers while he was unconscious? The blond idly scratched at his arm where she had bit him, wholly without any pain like he had suffered before. Kyuubi must have finally kicked in because it felt like he slept for a few days straight yet lacked any of the unwanted soreness that seemed to linger after he recovered from a major battle. That was good. As Naruto stood and walked towards the bathroom to speed up his waking process, the ninja never actually took the time to check the lone pane of glass in his room.

If he had done so, perhaps he would have realized that the trees were surprisingly bare and the sky was dreary as if suffering from Autumn-Winter weather. The blond was simply wondering why the floor was so damn cold. Significantly peppier now that his bladder was empty, teeth brushed, and face washed, he walked into the main room with his arms stretched above his head in a wide yawn.

"Ryoko-chan?" There was no reply, leaving him to quickly check the other rooms for any sign of his roommate. "She must have stepped out for something…guess I'll just wait here then." With nothing else to do he simply began work on making himself some instant noodles, humming and staring intently at the microwave as the timer continued to run out. The noodles were good; nothing like Teuchi's (ugh, he missed them so much) but at least they were better than nothing. How odd though…the kotatsu was out and set in place over the table. Why bring out the electric blanket? Shrugging to himself, Naruto slipped underneath to start his meal while reveling at the heat it gave his legs.

Sometime later a faint buzzing was heard coming from the hall before the sound of keys jingling in the lock reached his ears. He felt no reason to turn around, seeing as only one other person had easy access to the apartment. Lo and behold, he heard a soft yet delighted gasp from behind his back along with the clack of sturdy loafers hitting the floor as the blond continued to consume his ramen, making him grin lightly. Why did she sound so surprised? He was only out for a day or so. He grunted as the girl suddenly zipped over and slid into his back, throwing her arms around him happily and pinning his own to his side with her embrace.

"You're finally awake Naruto-san!" Calmly wiping away the broth that had hit his chin when he was jostled, the ninja set down the bowl awkwardly with his restrained limbs and attempted to shrug.

"You sound excited. I wasn't even out for that long." he chuckled, mildly confused at her reaction. The bluenette released him almost reluctantly and moved around to the opposite side of the table so she could look at him face-to-face. Naruto's eyes widened when he finally took her all in, feeling his heart rate pick up slightly for some inexplicable reason. She looked…prettier, if that was somehow possible. But the feeling was overcome when bluish eyes noticed that, for one, her clothing looked more along the lines of warding off colder weather. Once again she was dressed in the very uniform he first met her in alongside the new addition of a blood-red coat, burnt-orange scarf, and her now discarded white gloves.

But why was she wearing such an ensemble?

"Actually…you were." Biting her lip in such a way was not helping the cuteness case. He soldiered on though, pushing down the urge to personally see what her lips felt like. Perhaps even better than when she 'bit him' if instead of his arm it was his own-where were his thoughts going? There was no time to fawn over her! Especially when he had no idea why it was happening in the first place. Focus on the shock you felt from what she just said you moron! And no blushing!

"W-what are you talkin' about?"

"I do not know what happened. Perhaps it was an unaccountable error between your physical makeup and my injection but…there was a…reaction. I apologize for putting your life in danger but if there is ever a next time I will make sure to create one that will fully assimilate with you on a cellular level, provided that you allow me a sample of your DNA to study."

Naruto held up his hand suddenly, cutting off the rest of the alien's explanation before she could continue because frankly he was still lost. "One more time, Ryoko-chan. I'm still confused. What happened to me?"

Visibly calming now that the boy before her wasn't throwing a fit, she daintily placed her folded hands upon the table and took a breath. "You originally fell into a coma for a week. I must have greatly overpowered the sedative to make sure it affected you and was not simply purged before it took hold, and I must say that it did indeed work quite well. I was, however, worried that it could affect your brain and so used my specialty of data jurisdiction to create a 'bubble dimension' that encompassed your room to prevent you from 'decaying' as it were. While your body was already healed at the end of said week, you were still unconscious and I took no chance. Time was frozen within certain areas of your bedroom to make sure I could fix the damage one-hundred percent. The problem with that was…it took me awhile before I could finally release the closed space and return us to the normal flow of time."

Oh wow. That sounded really bad. But there was a question burning at his mind that needed to be asked. A part of him already knew the answer thanks to the temperature and her change in clothes but he still needed to hear it loud and clear. "Ryoko." he started firmly, staring directly into her eyes. Blue against blue. One focused and the other guilty. "How long was I laying there?"

"…seven months and five days till the date I abolished the personal data space. You slept soundly in recovery for another two days. You were not awake this morning when I left so I did not count today. It is now January 9th…I am sorry for causing you so much trouble! You would not have been down for so long if I had just taken the time to prepare myself better!"

Naruto reeled back in surprise when tears- yes actual tears!- threatened to fall from her eyeballs as the familiar sheen appeared against her sclera. Before he could question himself the shinobi was at her side, pulling her into a hug as she began to cry against him. Her body shook with near-silent sobs as he continued to hold her close, his brain warring against itself that the inevitability in what was happening was completely wrong, even as her face buried itself into the crook of his neck and inhale delicately. She was so soft…even with the stiff jacket he could feel her curves pressing against him-

Bad Uzumaki. What was wrong with his libido all of a sudden?

As her fit winded down and Asakura took to staying in his embrace with a soft sigh, the silence eventually forced Naruto to bring up the elephant in the room. "Since when did you get better at using emotion? I didn't even know you were able to cry."

The blond felt her lightly giggle into his collarbone, him not even having to imagine the watery smile on her face as she continued to snuggle against his hesitant body. "When I was not working to correct my mistake I took to practicing my humanity as much as I could and became accustomed to reacting familiarly to such situations. Seven months is just one long practice session when there is not much else to actually do."

"…sorry."

"Do not apologize. The error was mine." She looked up, smile in place as it always was. But with the teary stain to her cheeks and light blush she somehow added to her pale skin, it made the young woman look all the more adorable. His breath caught in his throat again as Ryoko suddenly leaned up and placed her lips against his own whiskered face, kissing his cheek in regret and anticipation. The skin burned pleasurably as she retracted and Naruto's hand rubbed the spot gently in bewilderment. The jinchuriki's mind was on the fritz and he barely heard the girl as she finally dragged herself from his grip and moved off into the kitchen, removing her outerwear and placing them on the nearby hallway hooks. "I'm glad you're awake, Naruto-san. I'll make us some dinner in the meanwhile so please just sit there and regain your strength."

"Eh…ah…okay…"

The two watched each other until Ryoko finally turned to walk towards one of the hanging hallway hooks, her attire now revealing the added addition of a loose navy blue blazer that construed her winter uniform. She threw him a coy wave his way before the last strand of her sapphire hair flicked through the opening. A heave escaped Naruto's lungs as her presence disappeared and his senses ironically sharpened, as if her company had thrown a wet blanket over his judgment in the span that she had been in proximity to him. But if this was somehow a dream it was much better than any of the others he ever had.

"Was she…flirting with me?" he stammered to himself, a dull ache in his boxers causing the boy to grow ever more embarrassed with how he was acting. But she seemingly encouraged everything he had done. And that kiss?...holy crap. His cheek _still_ tingled pleasantly and became more pronounced as his thoughts centered on her human-like exhibition. Maybe it was just a part of her new behavior? Females acted that way with someone they liked…so did that mean what he thought it meant?

Could Ryoko (and by the same train of thought, Nagato) ever truly fall in love despite once saying it was a possibility?

A sense of dizziness blasted his senses and he floundered in his seat, grabbing the table to keep from falling over. He would have time to dwell on his odd relationship status some other day. For now he would just follow the pretty gal's sensible advice and continue to recover from her mishap. His body felt great, all he needed now was to get his brain up to speed.

Vegetables of all kinds were sliced up into chewable pieces as the humanoid data construct worked on making a meal for the two of them. Her plan was progressing much better than Ryoko had anticipated. _Much_ better. Manipulating the ninja was quite easy; it wasn't difficult to notice that he held some form of infatuation with her even before she administered the injection. But whether it was love or lust she could just simply turn them around into her favor.

Her indoctrination of his mind had taken swimmingly. Give him a minor sob story and show him a bit of affection and the lie was simple to spin. Keeping him out of the picture for over half a year had brought about amazing results against the world's telemetry too. Closed spaces of all sorts had phased into existence all over the city as Suzumiya could find no hint of Naruto, allowing Ryoko to gather more information on the girl and her habits. Why, the neo-god's personality had even degraded further from her sudden lack of a 'friend' and her immense frustration at his unwanted absence. Whereas she could at least tolerate others if they held different interests than her the teenager now simply ignored or belittled the populace at large for being idiots in her eyes, pure and simple.

Seeing Haruhi's reactions and how the world responded was like a fine wine to Asakura. The question was how far she could go before reaching the extreme and something drastic took place. With Naruto on her side it looked as if she there would be no end to her machinations. A jolt of satisfaction shot through her core and caused Ryoko to squirm in her spot, delighted at how her interest caused such a pleasurable notion within a few certain places of her data-constructed body.

The alien was tired of playing by her creator's rules, to sum it up. She was the one who would be in control now. Her emotional understanding was on par with an actual human's at this point in time and the bluenette's position within the populace as a goody two-shoes idol was progressing better than ever. Given more time, who knows how far she would succeed at her goal. But why was she doing this? What greater purpose did all her plans and manipulations lead towards in the end?

It was easy.

_Because she could_.

Asakura Ryoko's task here on the Earth was to assist Nagato Yuki in her surveillance of one Suzumiya Haruhi and gather all possible data on the girl and her ability. What better way to do so than by 'poking the sleeping tiger' to speed up the results? Smiling to herself Ryoko began to hum quietly as she continued in her food preparation. A quick glance towards the main room made way for a touch of excitement to bubble up within her breast. The thought alone of the blond-haired, blue-eyed boy morphed her lips into a larger grin tinged with sinister intentions. He was the key here easy as that. Nagato was content with watching and waiting; the blue-hair favored a more direct approach.

It was an effortless task to ensure your own safety when you were merely the one giving the directions from afar.

One room over, Naruto was struck with a random yet horrifying thought while unknowing of his roommate's far from innocent preparations.

'_Sonofabitch, I missed my birthday!_'

For his sake, it was better he didn't know.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

How the devil could she wear these things comfortably? Not only was his jacket stiff as all hell due to its straight-out-of-the-package nature, but his pants weren't as forgiving as his normal slacks in certain areas. Plus there wasn't a lick of orange anywhere in the whole ensemble! However, at least his necklace wasn't any sort of banned paraphernalia. It would've been a shame to have to leave it behind every day when he had just gotten it back…or broken the rules anyways. That sounded more like what Naruto would have done.

Ryoko gushed at how dashing he looked which quelled his rebellious thoughts somewhat but did not fully end his willing denouncement of the clothing. The blue jacket with the school's emblem stitched upon its pocket, red tie, white undershirt, black pants, and brown shoes simply did not scream 'Future Hokage Uzumaki Naruto'. He was now just one of the boring masses when before he had been completely original. Where was the fun in that?

"You are scowling again, Naruto-san." Asakura chided politely as the two waiting in a pair of uncomfortable chairs in a side office at North High School. The humanoid was able to goad the human container into believing that attending the same academy as Suzumiya would be beneficial towards his long-term goals. He had originally declined, knowing the word 'school' and its variations were never enticing, but the alien's pouty soliciting had crashed against his defensive posture like high tide against a sandcastle.

What clinched it was when _Nagato Yuki _herself was escorted into the apartment, throwing Naruto for a loop with her attendance. It was the very first time the blond ever saw the thin female outside of her own abode. Plus she added her own reasons as to why North High was relevant. "Asakura Ryoko's points are sound. North High School is the least problematic course of action to where you will cross paths with Suzumiya Haruhi. By using this to your advantage, returning to your own plane of existence becomes a greater possibility." she had intoned while staring at him with those big brown eyes. Eyes that looked as if they were always staring straight through him.

Through his soul.

He agreed.

Nagato produced both identification and other proper paperwork as soon as the words escaped his lips, giving Naruto an actual back story and life here in this world. His new ID was tucked away safely inside of his wallet while reminding the boy that there was a picture of Haruhi he had folded away inside. The jinchuriki wondered how much the excitable girl had changed in his time away from proper reality, unlike the two resident aliens that literally looked the same despite the half-year gap in his memory.

On a similar note to things that left him astonished; another surprise that day was when Yuki had calmly handed over a hardcover book with blue bindings. A quick glance at the sky-colored cover alerted Naruto that this small little object was the source of all his problems; a copy of the ninja book his brown-haired…acquaintance had bought that ripped him straight out of the Elemental Nations.

"You were absent from my apartment for an extended period of time, so I took the liberty of tracking down this specific Earth novel so it would be there for you to study upon your return."

"Wow, thanks. Did you read it already?"

"Your turn." the purplenette demanded softly, her unflinching gaze moving from the item in his hands up to his bright blue eyes.

"I'll take that as a yes. Wait…did you…get lonely without me there reading alongside you?"

Nagato blinked.

_But_ that was then. And here he was now…an 'orphaned family friend of Asakura Ryoko from the satoyama agricultural area in Saitama Prefecture'. His cover would help explain as to why he seemed so behind with certain technologies or ways of life. He found it better than the alternative:

A special needs student.

The principal was giving the pair funny looks akin to curious displeasure since the beginning of the meeting. After all, a teenaged boy and girl living together without any parental supervision was an explosive situation just begging for trouble in his own personal opinion. He himself disapproved of what the two could theoretically accomplish but if both of their guardians had no problem with it…there was little the man could do to object. After all he had two written notes that checked out. No forgeries. Either the two teens were able to doctor their papers or create believable ones from scratch…or it was the real deal. As the highest supervisor constantly working there at the academy, he couldn't afford to make mistakes. Especially for a school such as North High that was touted to not exactly be the go-to place for academic advancement. A scandal such as this could ruin what image they had.

Clearing his throat, the male adjusted his tie and straightened the papers to try and kill any protests just waiting to spill from his mouth. "It…appears that everything is in order. Thank you for choosing to enroll here at North High School and I hope to see your scores reflecting the excellent teaching our educators offer you. You just missed the beginning of the semester and the opening ceremony, Uzumaki-san, but luckily it shouldn't take too long for you to catch up with the rest of your peers. Report back here tomorrow before the final bell rings and someone will show you to your homeroom. I do believe you'll also be able to find somebody to escort you around campus for a quick tour."

"I'll do it right now, sir."

He gave a jerky nod at Ryoko's favorable response, looking between the two students with what he hoped was nonchalance. "Very good, Asakura-san. You truly are living up to your Class President title with initiative such as this. And you are lucky to have such a caring friend, son."

"Yeah she's a real pal." Naruto cited jadedly, wincing as the bluenette's 'light and joking' slap to his shoulder sent the muscles blaring in pain. She merely laughed all in good fun before tapping his newest injury so they could leave (Naruto somehow able to keep his wincing to a minimum) as they said goodbye to the principal and left the room. Said man sighed slowly once he was alone and ran a handkerchief over his exposed forehead to wipe away the drops of sweat that had accumulated.

He hoped this wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass. It was all too well known what a pair of horny kids would do when their hormones smothered rational thought. A male would think with his dick and the female would raise her skirt a bit or pop open a few buttons of their shirt to get the ball rolling. Terrible. Utterly shameless. As if his reputation needed a damn pregnancy shaking things up. Errr…but Ryoko was an excellent student so far and he believed he could trust her. This Naruto fellow looked to be a ruffian though; what sane person drew whiskers on their face? He only hoped the boy kept himself in line, for everyone's sake.

Unknowing of the administrator's plight and likely not caring about it anyways had they known, Naruto and Ryoko walked side by side down the hallway while moving past the occasional student still roaming the corridors. The two walk moved in a comfortable silence as the alien pointed out certain areas such as the main office (duh) and the first-year classrooms which were right there at ground level. They passed by her own class but Naruto failed to notice her sly smirk when she mentioned there were a few interesting characters that attended alongside her.

As the principal had alluded to, Ryoko was voted to take over the responsibility of presidential duties for her freshman class. Though the semester had barely begun she was surprisingly popular with both genders and even the teachers. Ask anyone and they would recommend her for being a polite, charming young woman that worked hard at anything she did. Plus she was hot. One of her classmates had even classified all the girls by their positive points and the data construct came out with an amazing A++ on the girlfriend meter.

Naruto didn't notice the subtle effect of it all but by just interacting comfortably with the pretty first-year, the actions caused more than a few eyebrows to raise and sent their owners scrambling to discover the mysterious blond's identity. Was he a simple friend? _Boyfriend_? Convict she was tutoring? His looks, build, and height alluded that the stranger was from out of country. The prejudice against foreigners always bubbled beneath the surface but that fact was thankfully not shared by all. Proving that point was the way a fair share of the schoolgirls were appraising him a bit longer than was the norm before turning away. Striking looks and all that.

Oblivious, he was.

Hell, one timid-looking girl even grew flustered when Ryoko caught her eye and grabbed Naruto by the hand, the pair disappearing down another hallway towards the stairs. "R-Ryoko-chan, what're you doing?"

"Would you care to visit Nagato-san?"

"Oh? Sure…but why is she still here? Didn't school end sometime ago?"

"Were you unaware she was part of a club?"

"…really?" The two began climbing the stairs up to the second floor with Naruto being self-conscious the whole while of their still interlaced digits. She had an iron grip and would not release him. "I didn't know she was actually interested in anything else other than reading." Her response followed as they began their trek down the tunnel connecting the main building to the auxiliary structure meant for afterschool activities.

"Oh yes. She is a first-year and the only new member to join after all the seniors graduated last term." Door after door was passed before Asakura stopped in front of one labeled 'Literary Club', causing the shinobi to stare with a flat look reflecting off his features. From a smiling Ryoko, up towards the sign, down to the plain door, before returning to Ryoko, their conjoined hands, Ryoko again, then finally settling on the door.

"Why am I not actually surprised…?" he mumbled flatly as the beauty next to him giggled at his discovery. She did finally let go of his hand which caused him to release a victory sigh before the blue-loving female knocked on the door with three quick raps of her knuckles. Silence reigned within the room until eventually a muffled 'come in' was heard, just barely noisy enough to pierce through the room's natural insulation.

"Hey, Yuki-chan." That was all he got out before looking around the room. It was extremely bare save for the multiple bookshelves completely packed with all manner of manuscripts. Fiction, nonfiction, all the genres you could think of…this was probably Nagato's home away from home. Besides the obvious there was also a large table in the very center of the area, a few chairs, and a dry erase-board up against the wall. The young teen herself was sitting in a seat tucked away in the corner against one of the room's large windows; book in her lap as she peered at the duo with her spectacle-clad eyes.

"Hello Nagato-san. I hope you don't mind that we've come to visit. Naruto-san will be starting here very soon and I am just showing him around." The stoic alien shook her head with the barest of motions, eyes flickering between the two before dropping back down to her novel.

"Welcome." she answered quietly. A silence descended upon the room and it forced Naruto to begin browsing the nearest mantel to give him something to do. Ryoko kept vigil near the doorway, arms clasped behind her back as her shining eyes inspecting him with an innocent light. Like a happy child watching her puppy prance around. Clicking his tongue once after running a finger along a few of the book's spines Naruto turned and leaned against the metal with a small sigh.

"So does it get boring just sitting here by yourself?"

"...no."

"What made you originally join? Because of all the reading you could do?"

"A greater purpose." Lips pursed in thought at the purple-haired girl's cryptic answer but Naruto eventually shrugged. He was growing used to not ever getting a straight answer…except when it was time for some sort of difficult explanation that these girls (and Koizumi) apparently loved to give.

"So…it's Haruhi-related? I don't get it. Staying in an empty club…I can't see a reason." Nagato turned the page. "But eh, who am I to judge? It seems like a nice place to relax. Would you mind if I stop by once in awhile? It could be like a secret hiding spot if I don't feel like walking back to the apartment right away after school ends. Some of these books actually look sorta interesting and it gives Yuki-chan some company."

"Is that your way of asking to join the Literary Club?"

"Do you actually want me to?" Nagato's eyes did that thing where they closed and opened rapidly, a task that Naruto believed was her way of silently dismissing and/or alerting the other person that she was waiting for them to speak. In layman's terms, a solitary blink of her eyes. "I don't think I'd be a very good member anyways, and I don't feel like joining anything unless I truly have to. Truthfully I'll probably be spending my time heading off to train…just 'cause I'm here doesn't mean I should let myself get rusty."

Ryoko finally stepped forward and smoothly transitioned to leaning against the side of the table, flicking a few stray strands of her hair back over her shoulder. "Just as well. My new duties as representative for my classroom would occasionally keep me after hours. If the two of you are here, then we can all walk home together. At the very least you yourself would be able to escort Nagato-san back to the complex."

"…acceptable." It wasn't like either of them would actually need protection though.

"So…what now?" Amber eyes descended back towards their papery target, effectively announcing what Yuki's current plans would be. Naruto and Ryoko shared a quick glance before chuckling lightly at Nagato's predictable action and preparing to move towards the single door in the room. The bluenette slipped easily off the tabletop as the blond pushed away from the book stands. Pausing for a moment, the ninja looked over his shoulder back towards the lonely girl. "We'll leave you to it then."

Her slender neck bobbed imperceptibly to at least show she had heard him. Nagato Yuki sure knew how to make a departure awkward. Metal clicked against metal as the twosome reentered the hallway silently. Naruto released a forceful breath as soon as they were separated from the small room and just focused on his breathing. His partner began to giggle as the human container ran a hand slowly down his face, knowing full well why he was exasperated. "Troubles, Naruto-san?"

"I can never get a read on her."

"Yes, compared to myself I suppose she is a nothing more than an introverted, taciturn bibliophile. Come now, Naruto-san. If you pay close attention to the rest of my tour then I believe we can make it to the market in time and then start on our dinner."

"Shopping? Aww…do I have to go?" As the two began walking down the corridor Ryoko watched him with a protruding lip and soulful eyes. Naruto stumbled as her face drew dangerously close to his own yet again, searching for something in his ever-reddening features and increased heartbeat.

"You would allow a poor, defenseless, cute girl to wander around on her own without a big, strong escort watching her back?"

"I h-highly doubt they could even lay a hand on you i-if you didn't want them to." A wonderful memory of walking behind the humanoid interface at the pool surfaced at her words and he shook away the urge to gulp. What a back it was. His stomach suddenly burned as if a great inferno had lit itself within the organ and Naruto grunted, clutching his abs as the haze in his mind was ripped away. Ryoko held his shoulders in concern while inwardly frowning; something had interfered with her emotional manipulation.

Coughing once, the blond willed the Kyuubi's chakra to withdraw and it did so almost lazily. The beast was gauging him and his self-control? But why? And his thoughts were clearer than when Asakura was…seducing him? Was that right? Waving away the girl's unease he just tugged her arm once before mentioning it was no big deal. Something he ate must have disagreed with his tolerance. The bluenette didn't buy it at all but merely flashed him a pretty smile and hooked her arm through his.

"If you say so. I'll try to keep the spices in your meals to a minimum from now on. Let's just hurry with the sightseeing and get you to your room." The gal pulled his limb a bit harder before 'accidentally' nestling it just barely against edge of her breast. Something obstructed her nanomachine indoctrination. She would have to gather more info on the blue-eyed Uzumaki's physical data to make sure whatever happened, didn't happen again. She couldn't afford to have a puppet that could move without her jostling the strings. Not at all.

Down the hallway at the far end, a freshman girl with long brown hair pulled up into a pair of flowing pigtails stomped towards a door marked 'Tea Ceremony Club' and raised her bare leg. As her bluish skirt flipped upwards at the motion, she kicked forward with all her might. The wood slammed open with enough force to rattle the tables and tea sets in the room and send the inhabitants scrambling to keep spillage at a minimum. Not one to mince words the familiar brunette strolled inside with an appraising eye but frowned at what she saw.

"This is the tea ceremony clubroom yeah? I'm here to join."

"O-okay…" A timid second-year with a short black hairdo grabbed a sheet of paper off the nearby desk after a quick search and nervously approached the intimidating female. "What's your name?"

"Suzumiya Haruhi." she said while flicking one of the intricate cups with her fingernail, causing more than one person to cringe in fear that the delicate item would break. "I hope to God this club isn't as boring as the last seven." Plucking the document out of her now lax fingers, Haruhi scanned it critically before scoffing and crumpling it into a ball. "I'll sign one of these if I decide to become an actual member. For now I just want to see if what you do is even interesting." The others in the room openly gaped at the brunette. Was she serious?

The neo-deity sighed as her fellow students shyly began to work once they recovered, taking great care and diligence in pouring the liquid like it was their lifeline. What a load. Of course nothing supernatural would be happening _here_ of all places but the eccentric freshman had to make sure. Her conquest of inspecting each and every after-school organization was turning out to be just as she predicted; a fat waste of her time. It had to be done though…what if she skipped on and it turned out one of the members was a kappa? Haruhi could never forgive herself if it was so.

Glug glug glug glug…what was so interesting about putting tea in a cup? You had to be all stiff and proper, making sure your yukata sleeve didn't get in the way as the fluid tipped out…laaaaaaaaaaaame. None of the members looked suspicious, there weren't any visible wormholes (she'd have to check back later when the room was empty), and they all seemed scared of something. Five more minutes and she would be out the door.

Even the interesting ideas like the Paranormal Club were full of shit. Why couldn't there be one stinkin' thing here at North High that peaked her want of the supernatural? Nothing exciting had happened since…hmmm, since around summer vacation at the city pool. Damn Naruto…him and his stupid punk looks and glaringly bright hair and annoying nice muscle tone that caused her to pause questionably when looking him over for any signs of the paranormal. That son of a bitch was a liar! '_I'll see you around_'. Yeah, maybe if you didn't suddenly drop off the face of the Earth! Oooooh he better have been abducted by aliens or chained up by a cult or something because there would be hell to pay!

His disappearance had hit her harder than she would have liked to admit. It was like enticing someone with a piece of candy and as soon as she had a lick, the sweet was pulled away. That's a dick move, plain and simple. To _finally_ meet someone that may have not expressly mentioned he believed in aliens and yet never denied it either haunted her thoughts to this very day. While not as bad as it once was, the brunette was still in search of others that shared her personal viewpoint…or his. No luck so far…

If she had only taken a few extra seconds before entering the tea room to look the other way, perhaps the antagonistic female would have noticed the boy she had essentially scoured the city for.

A shame, really.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A/N: Phew, okay. Done with this chapter. It's really been a nightmare trying to find time to write and I apologize for the slow update. Anyways, here it be. As you can tell, I like Ryoko. She's a crazy character that seems like she could have done so much more instead of essentially dying so early. In this story she's going to have a bigger role. Easy enough to see, yeah?_

_On another note, check my page. I've got a bunch of challenges waiting for some nice writer to come and pick them up, and even a new poll waiting in the wings. Who's your favorite Senran Kagura girl? Katsuragi's in the lead, people. While I personally have no problem with that, there are twenty one other girls in need of some loving/votes. More than half don't even have any clicks yet._

_As for the challenges…well, some of them might need a greater amount of thinking than others you might have seen. But hey, here's a preview for ya of the newest challenge I've come up with; a Naruto/Harry Potter that doesn't involve yaoi or ANBU stationed at Hogwarts. If you want to use this preview I whipped up then ask, we'll see what we can do from there. I'm putting it here because I don't want to make another new story like the Naruto/Viking one. I should've just done this since I plan to work on the stories I have now instead of trying to start new ones…arg I get too many good ideas._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

:Naruto/Harry Potter Crossover:

November 1st, 1981,Number 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey, Great Britain.

It was a wonderful neighborhood filled with wonderful people…as long as you were wonderfully normal in every sense of the word. The streets were filled with rows upon rows of the exact same cookie-cutter houses where families young and old lived. Beautiful two-story houses with neatly trimmed lawns and sparkling windows…but all was not what it seemed. Behind the shiny veneer of company cars and executive salaries hid the lingering resentment of gossipy, brown-nosing individuals. One wrong move, one single decision that could possibly lower the status of a household, and the nitpickers would descend with all the fury of ferocious hungry jackals.

Social status was everything in Privet Drive.

It was also the reason why Vernon Dursley and his wife Petunia were both ready to pull their hair out at the purely _unnatural _visitor currently asleep on their dining room table. Vernon, a right whale of a man with a thick black mustache, barely any visible neck, beady blue eyes, and rolls of skin hidden underneath his XXXL-sized clothing, was seething as his ruddy face purpled in silent rage. If ANYONE happened to peek out their window a few minutes ago and saw what they did, their ordinary family would have been decimated by becoming the unwanted talk of the town.

Given, it was extremely early in the morning and the pair of Dursleys had been awoken from their sleep (as well as their chubby one-year old Dudley), and highly unlikely any neighbor would casually be looking out at their front lawn at one-thirty in the morning. But it was the _idea_ that someone could have which drove the paranoid, overweight man's blood pressure skyrocketing. The only reason he hadn't begun bellowing like a fool was because his son would join right along with him and Petunia had only just gotten him to return to his slumber.

Speaking of Petunia Dursley, how she was able to survive copulation with the man more than twice her width to produce a child was something of a miracle. Whereas her husband was rather large, she herself was stick thin with a somewhat withered look that gave off the near appearance of a horse. Blonde hair curled around her ears and neck while her bluish-violet eyes constantly darted around the room as if to find something out of place. Currently, her already pale skin had lightened even more to the point where she appeared sickly. The observation wasn't that far off as those abnormally-colored irises would occasionally lock onto the young infant lying prone on her immaculate tabletop and she'd swallow, as if a hint of bile had pooled at the back of her throat.

As the grandfather clock chimed its time from the foyer, Vernon apparently had enough and stomped towards the intruder in _his_ home. "Explain…to me again…why we are being forced to hide this, this, **thing** within our walls? It's unnatural! You said we would never have to deal with any of this funny business after you broke away from those freaks in your family!" A large finger jabbed threateningly towards the obviously un-threatening toddler, as if he would attack them at any moment. Petunia only shook her head quickly before chewing on the end of her thumbnail.

"Because if we do not then _more_ of the magical freaks would return to ensure we changed our minds! By simply raising the boy then our problems stay at a minimum!" the blond whispered back fiercely, only to cause a vein in Vernon's beefy neck to jump.

"I told you never to speak that word again, woman!" he hissed. "As for the problems, that's one more mouth to feed! Money out of my paycheck, our own pockets to ensure that little_horror _survives when instead it could be used to look after our family and interests!"

"The letter explains that by him being here, our home is protected from any evil wiz…them!"

"The little bastard is a threat to our household? That's it! I will not have him here causing any harm towards our own little tyke! Out with him, I don't care where!"

The horse-faced woman pursed her lips in genuine fear. "I want him gone just as much as you do, love, but it states he has to be kept with a blood relative of his own!"

"And there's none left on your side? Your sister may have bought the farm but I distinctly remember you having a mother and father in good health. Ship your sibling's runt off to them and be done with it!" Petunia's chest clenched painfully at the abrupt dismissal of her recently departed sister but masked the emotion well. Yes, she hated Lily with all her being for being more than just a regular human. Having wondrous and horrifying powers that defied physics and natural law. And how she couldn't-no, wouldn't accept Lily for what she was even when the girl did all she could to get on Petunia's good side. The elder sister hated the fact that the younger Evans' female was the bigger woman and continuously tried to bury the hatchet while the non-magical effectively blocked any and all attempts at reconciliation.

But Petunia Dursley also harbored envy at the redhead's achievements…and hid a secret of her own that not even her hubby was aware of.

"My f-father and mother…I started pulling away from them the very moment Lily showed signs of her freak powers and they acted like she was a godsend. I couldn't do with their believing she was the worthwhile daughter and I was nothing at all. Once you proposed to me…I left and never looked back."

"So you're saying we're stuck with the bloody brat." His hairy lip curled in contempt. But before Vernon could tip off into another tirade about his unwanted nephew the doorbell rang, effectively silencing the man while waking up both sleeping children. Petunia rushed upstairs towards her Duddykins with the intent to comfort him, leaving the second wailing babe to cry and cry. Vernon ignored what he deemed an 'unwanted package' before stalking off to confront whoever the hell else decided it was a good idea to break the calm of his house. They were going to get a fist in their nose if they didn't have a damn good reason for doing so!

Someone important better have died this time or the Queen herself was here on urgent business!

From the second floor the slender mother heard her husband roar like a man possessed, urging her to rush back downstairs to see what caused the reaction and intervene if need be. With Dudley at her breast, the female strained to keep the bouncing rhythm in her arms continue without rest to ensure her baby boy was lulled back to sleep. It didn't help that Vernon was yelling at their guest with choice words that any small child should never hear.

"WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, SHOWING UP AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT AND ASKING TO SEE MY WIFE? GET LOST BEFORE I REALLY LOSE MY TEMPER AND BEAT YOUR ASS FOR SOLICITING AGAINST THE LAW AT AN UNGODLY HOUR AND THREATENING A MEMBER OF THIS HOUSEHOLD! THE POLICE WILL BE HERE ANY SECOND AND YOU'LL BE HAULED OFF TO JAIL WHERE I HOPE TO GOD THEY LOCK YOU AWAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!"

"V-Vernon, who is i-it?"

The children continued to cry.

"We both know you're full of hot air with your pathetic threats, Dursley. Besides, it's not like something as simple as the cops can hold me down." It was a voice, calm and collected with a heavy hint of an Asian accent against the walrus-sized Englishman's bullying screech. It was a voice that caused his yellow-haired spouse to stagger back as if struck, nearly dropping her heavy child in the process. That voice…oh lord, that voice. One that hadn't touched her ears in, well, a few decades really. Half of her hoped to never be around it again while the second half, the wilder and deeply repressed side, longed for its soothing baritone from her youth.

"GET OFF MY PROPERTY THIS INSTANT!"

"I think not. I'm here for two things and you, my tubby little man, are not one of them."

**SLAM**

**CLICK**

Vernon reappeared in the doorway with a face as dark as the night sky from all the angry blood flowing through it. Just as the blonde went to ask again who came knocking at their front steps, if only to affirm her belief, the obese Brit turned his sights upon the frail woman with spittle nearly spraying from his lips in his rage-induced haze.

"Who do you think you are, going around behind my back and seeing another man! After all I've done for you, given you? This is how you repay me? Or given any thought to what the others would think now that our son has a whore for a mother!"

"How dare you, Vernon Dursley!" Petunia snapped back as her own mouth quivered with emotion. "I have been _completely_ faithful to you and even given you a wonderful, loving son! Do not make such a disgusting accusation without any proof!"

"PROOF? THE EVIDENCE WAS WALKING AROUND RIGHT ON OUR OWN BLOODY DOORSTEP!"

**DING-DONG**

Nitrogen bubbles popped loudly as two great, chubby hands clenched together painfully tight. With as much dignity as she could mister Petunia handed her child over to his father and marched towards the door. "I have not cheated on you, and I will take care of this once and for all! Then we will put our son down for the night, find a spot for the freak to sleep, and go to bed ourselves! Then we will forget about this accursed night and never speak of it again _you stupid ignorant bastard!_" With her head held high, the thin lass moved towards the door to take care of the problem. The black-haired man blinked stupidly, anger momentarily forgotten as he struggled to comprehend what his wife had just said.

Was it just him or did she just speak some ungodly Jap language there at the end?

Bollocks to all the heathens. It must have just been the pressures of the night playing tricks on his mind.

"Ding dong. Ding dong. Bing bong. Ring. Ring. Ring. Hmmm, knock knock?" The man outside Number 4 Privet Drive continued to speak as he knocked upon the perfect door just loud enough to grab the resident's attention. If anything it was to simply fill the cool night air with more than silence. Bright blue eyes shined in the darkness as tanned fingers brushed against a scalp filled with unruly sun-kissed yellow hair that fell into his eyes. Hair not normally found on a 'Jap' as the bigot Dursley most eloquently stated, but then again he was no ordinary male from the Land of the Rising Sun.

He wasn't ordinary, period. And to add to his impressive life resume…he wasn't from anywhere on God's green Earth either.

At least not this one.

"Someone else better answer soon because I sure as hell am not a stranger to breaking and entering or picking this crappy little lock."

Impressive hearing, far above that of any normal human's, picked up the rushed and erratic steps of something extremely light speeding towards the door. A set of pearly white teeth flashed into existence as the man grinned, exposing a set of canines sharper than what one would normally possess. So she finally decided to set him right, did she? Goody. The wooden portal slammed open with a strength one would think someone of her size could not own. Her sharp inhalation of air choked halfway as her eyes widened to disproportionate heights and her body involuntarily began to shiver.

"Y-y-y-you!"

"...me. Hello, Petunia-chan." he responded as his smile dropped into a thin line and his features schooled into something blank. And just like that Petunia was back in her youth living in Cokesworth, staring back at someone she hadn't thought about in years. He always did this whenever the prissy blonde had done something wrong. When she broke the lamp, or got lost that one time near the river, or calling her sister a _freak_. The blond man never said he was disappointed in her, oh no, instead opting to merely stare at her with a dignified and neutral expression until she fidgeted enough and broke down, before he would then cheer her up in some way and express how he was not upset with her actions but instead asking what she had learned from the experience.

She was no longer a middle-aged woman with a husband and son. No, she was once again seven-years old sitting in the quiet study of her childhood home on the rather comfortable sofa she had always secretly adored.

"Why are you here…Tou-san?" Petunia's voice lost its quaver as the man, her father if the foreign labeling was correct, continued to watch her. But to call him her dad was a large stretch. He didn't look a day past thirty-five. Coupled with the hair, eyes, and darkened skin, a spiky yet neatly groomed full beard/mustache combo now covered his face that she did not remember him having in her memories. The short hair covered up the unique markings that were etched into his cheeks; three thin scar-like lines through the skin that always made Petunia liken him to a big cuddly cat.

Not anymore.

With that knowing gaze and added facial hair, he was now more like a majestic lion. Beautiful…yet extremely dangerous.

A twitch of familiarity touched his lips at his daughter's inquiry before being lost in the moment. "I'm here to see my grandson, who I was not even allowed to see after his birth due to the meddling of a man way past his prime." A hint of disgust laced his voice at that. "But then again I wasn't allowed at the birth of your son either, was I?"

"You're here for that little monstrosity?" she gasped before shuddering at how intense her parent's look turned. While still non-judgmental, her words struck something deep within his being that Petunia only now remembered as the stories her father once told her long, long ago were forcefully dug back up. Freak. Monster. Demon. Those were words that could actually cause the rugged-looking male to grow impatient and annoyed with those around him. Mere titles, but the venom behind them contained so much more. Perhaps it was a trick of the street lights but she could have sworn his eyes flashed a sickening crimson. But that never happened before…had it? That wasn't a trick the blond was known to do.

"Yes, I'm here for Lily's child." the guest answered neutrally, folding his arms over his broad chest. The leather jacket, grey button up shirt and black slacks strained minorly against his build, which one would find more common upon a boxer or martial artist. He then spoke five words that would change the outcome of history that his mere presence being there had already not, a written history that we all know so very well. Words that would modify the plans of an elderly headmaster who only wished for the world to live in peace. Words that would force the floating scrap of a fractured soul belonging to a vanquished Dark Lord to change once the pain of a reflected killing curse faded to bearable proportions. Both men, and the British Isles at large, would begin to compare the name of the Dark Lord's destroyer to that of his grandfather's, one Uzumaki Naruto. Jinchuriki. Loving father. A man that married a beautiful civilian woman named Evans that contained more spitfire in her body than _anyone_ alive back home in the Elemental Nations.

A man that somehow looked as if he could have been Petunia Dursley née Uzumaki-Evans' older brother.

"Let me see my magomusuko (grandson)."

From inside the house, a year-old infant with jet black hair, shining emerald eyes, and an odd scar at the right of his forehead in the shape of a lightning bolt began to calm down from his tantrum and turn his head almost eagerly towards the front door. A gummy smile reached his small lips as his tiny hands wiggled joyfully. Harry could sense the kind aura of the newcomer and it made him feel so calm and happy.

Something, in an alternate universe, he would have been hard-pressed to find for years to come.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_There ya have it. I used the book descriptions of Vernon and Petunia because it gives her blonde hair and a bridge between Naruto and his daughter. It's a bit rough since I literally just ground it out but I think it gets the point across while leaving plenty of questions to draw in the readers. What was Naruto's wife like? What secret does Petunia have? Why does Naruto look so young? How did he wind up in Great Britain? How greatly is canon Harry Potter going to change? Why am I asking you when I already know? Just take the challenge and all these answers will be yours._


End file.
